(Closed) He has his back turned on me..

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
6892 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I don’t think you have princess syndrome at ALL – I kind of think he does. Why should he keep you awake playing a game when you ARE the one working? It’s your reality right now and he needs to learn to work around it.

It sucks that you two are arguing a lot about it and it doesn’t seem to be going anywhere. Is it too personal if I ask why/how long he’s unemployed? Money is one of the biggest possible stressors to a relationship. :/ *Hugs*

Post # 5
Member
6892 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

@DesireeAnne: I think we all have our moments with issues like these. My only form of advice would be to ask him how he would feel if roles were reversed? I know that never fully gets to people because they can’t understand how much effort you put into work or how much sleep people need, but maybe it will help.

I think you’re right that part of the reason HE was snippy is because he may be insecure about the situation and then the issues with his family members. So many stressors. I’m sorry, I hope you two can come to a compromise on this issue and get it all worked out. πŸ™‚

Post # 7
Member
6892 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

@DesireeAnne: That was a good move. πŸ™‚ Hope everything clears up. And damn Mother Nature!! She’s visiting me right now too. πŸ™ Boo.

Post # 9
Member
1909 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

* BIG HUGS * 

$$ is a major stressor, and communication comes in a close 2nd. It seems like you are upset for his lack of consideration of your bedtime and lack of appreciation for the work you are doing as the breadwinner. You acknowledge that he’s been doing a lot around the house and helping. But he is upset because he feels under appreciated. It may feel like ‘little stuff’ but when it reaches a boiling point it becomes ‘big stuff.’

When I get to this point with Fiance, one of us has to decide to end the standoff. We may not agree with the other’s point of view, but we just need to ‘get’ where the other person is. I hear you making an effort because you care enough to want to do something special. Maybe he’s embarrassed or feeling less of a man because he’s not working. Maybe he’s a little depressed.

I’m sorry you’re feeling lonely and you always have friends here. Feel better, maybe take a hot bath and relax that way. * MORE HUGS  *

Post # 11
Member
4546 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I’m sorry πŸ™ I know how tough unemployment can be on everyone. I’m currently unemployed (well, I’m substitute teaching so I’m working part time but nothing full time) and I can tell you it sucks. I’m wondering if he’s feeling depressed at all? I know I am, even though it took me awhile to realize what was going on. Sometimes I snap more and I tend to withdraw into my books more to try and escape from how frustrating the whole situation is. That isn’t an excuse for him not respecting your needs though. Not at all. But being unemployed, I can say that there is a whole host of feelings that can go on that can manifest themselves in different ways.

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