(Closed) he has no idea how or when he’s going to propose

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
493 posts
Helper bee

I’m so sorry sweetheart. I totally understand where you are coming from. I went there with my SO last night after a disagreement regarding something else (I know I couldn’t help it). So much for the April fool’s challenge.

Anyway I feel like I need concrete information. He is giving me all these answers that don’t reassure me of anything. He will talk about getting married, combining finances, babies (a lot). But won’t give me a timeline telling me in ___ months we should be engaged. And that hurts. Even though I know he wants to marry me not having anything more solid to look forward too is frustrating.

Just like you I’m over the perfect, surprise excuses….just do it already.

When I ask questions like “what’s the hold up, is it money” his response is “nothing I know my time is up”…. So what are you waiting for????!!!! Uggghhh.. Or I said that “we went ring shopping then 6 months later you told me you hadn’t saved money…I’m sure the ring is gone now” then he’s like “what, I got you”….

You are not alone. I’m too the point where I’m demanding answers. I want to start counseling and get this ball on the road. I’ve been patient and stopped with the “pressure” for long enough.

Post # 5
Member
493 posts
Helper bee

Just give him a chance. 3 months is a long time to plan. Yes maybe he’s procrastinating but give him the benefit of the doubt. Allow him to break the deadline before you beat him up about it. I’m sure he’s just telling you that (he doesn’t know) because he doesn’t want to give anythinig away. Even if he does have something in mind.

Post # 6
Member
401 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

There is some possibility he is trying to throw you off by saying that. Even if he’s not it is only 3 months and how long does it really take to plan a proposal? He could decide one day and propose the very next day if he wanted to. So there is still plenty of time! I’m not saying that to be negative at all…just a different point of view. I hope you get your ring soon =)

Post # 7
Member
1927 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Is your SO one of those guys who wait until the week of your Birthday to figure out what he is going to give you? My FI is, About a month before he proposed I had a little waiting melt down and he told me that I needed to give him time to figure out how he is going to do it. At the time I was thinking “after 5 and a half years together he still hasn’t figured out how he is going to propose.”

After he did pop the question I was thinking about it, he is the guy at the mall Christmas eve looking for a gift for someone. My Fiance is a procrastinator and he works a lot better under pressure, maybe your SO is the same way.

Post # 9
Member
851 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

My Fiance threw me off, and at times out right lied (sending me crazy!) while he had the ringfor six months before the proposal coz he wanted it to be perfect (and it was).

He told me he had no idea and no plans to do to a teary me when he had every intention of doing it on our overseas holiday. He said it killed him and he felt like a huge bastard, but he knew I wanted a surprise :*)

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