(Closed) He has the ring but hasn't proposed

posted 3 years ago in Engagement
Post # 2
Member
947 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Ask him

Post # 4
Member
4873 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
keza :  it’s been less than two months since you went ring shopping. He’s probably planning something. Give him a little more time before you go into panic mode. Just ask him about time lines if you are concerned. Say we went shopping for a ring in December. I’m eagerly waiting. Can you tell me if we will be engaged by May 2019? If he says no then you start asking more questions and where from there. 

Post # 5
Member
1437 posts
Bumble bee

Relax. It’s been like A month since you went ring shopping. If he hasn’t proposed by June then you can worry. For now relax and just leave him alone. You are being way too intense about it. 

Post # 6
Member
32 posts
Newbee

My boyfriend and I went to do a custom ring in June. He got the ring in July. He even let me try it on and see it. A couple weeks ago he proposed. I know its hard, but just remember that he loves you – and he will choose a good time when he wants to. I TOTALLY understand because I was being driven nuts! Hang in there. 🙂

Post # 7
Member
10400 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

View original reply
keza :  

Ask him (pleasantly)  why you are waiting for your ring. Maybe even say it is making you  anxious.

It’s a  practice I don’t understand myself and never heard of before these boards.  

Post # 8
Member
1468 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - Location

Yeah I’d chill for a while longer, he’s probably planning something. Are you sure he bought the ring? You only mention trying them on that’s why I ask. 

Post # 9
Member
1197 posts
Bumble bee

Nobody here can tell you what is going on. If you want to know, you need to person-up and have a conversation with your partner.

Post # 10
Member
7815 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

If he bought the ring, he did it, what, a month ago? That’s hardly any time at all. Many men have a ring for months while they plan something or get their courage up. I think that things are looking promising with the two of you looking at rings, but let him plan something and trust him (unless he has proven he cannot be trusted, in which case you should not be marrying him at all).

Post # 11
Member
2079 posts
Buzzing bee

Did u guys establish a general timeline for when he will propose? If not, give it a month or two and then bring up a timeline if nothing has happened 

Post # 12
Member
56 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2020 - City, State

Hello, I understand your feelings as if he has the ring already why has he not yet asked the question. However I agree with the other bees, he may be planning something or trying to find the perfect moment.

My FH had the ring for 7 months before he proposed. The wait nearly killed me! I asked him on several occasions when he was going to ask me as we had discussed a time line that was nearing it’s end! It was only after he proposed that he shared with me why he waited so long and it made so much sense and made me love him so much more!

I think it can be easy to forget in all the excitement and frustration of waiting how big a deal it is for a man (or anyone) to ask the biggest question they may ever ask in their lives whilst also maybe feeling the pressure to make it perfect for their other half. 

I wish you all the best bee, just try to enjoy this time. X

 

Post # 13
Member
653 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: London, UK

I was in a similar position. When the waiting stopped being fun I just told him and he gave the ring to me that evening. I know some people wouldn’t like the lack of spontaneity, but bearing in mind you know the ring and you know he’s got it, it’s not really gonna be a surprise either way at that point. It’s a made up thing that the man makes the decision and calls the shots with the proposal – you can have a conversation and decide together to become officially engaged if you want to.

If you don’t want to do that then you just need to wait tbh.

Post # 14
Member
84 posts
Worker bee

Waiting is tough, especially when you know they have the ring. My boyfriend has the ring and after feeling super excited and struggling with the wait, I talked to him ans said I needed a time range. He let me know that I can expect late summer to early fall. He’s set on things being a surprise and for me to not see it coming. He also was able to tlak to me about how me talking about it/making jokes about waiting was hurtful and making him anxious. We have had a difficult past few years, we have lost some family members unexpectedly, had to move every year for 3 years, and now we just bought our house which is amazing. he said he wants ot be able to enjoy a summer and the next few months without anything else going on, live in the moment. This really meant a lot to me and reminded me how we balance each other. There are still times, like a few days ago, where the wait kills me and I make too many comments and have to remind myself about that conversation. The wait is hard, but I find anything you can do to distract yourself, some planning but mostly things unrelated to weddings makes it much better 🙂 

Post # 15
Member
63 posts
Worker bee

The ring arrived end of December and my boyfriend just proposed yesterday. The waiting was killing me around the holiday season because I thought for sure he would do it for Christmas, then for sure for New Year’s, but nothing. 

I eventually asked him when I should expect it and he said before the month was over so that helped me to calm down. Waiting honestly is hard, but once I knew approcimately when it would happen, I begin to just enjoy looking forward to it – I knew never again would I have something this amazing to look forward to in a long time.

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