He has the ring, impatiently waiting

posted 4 months ago in Proposals
Post # 2
Member
4060 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

My husband hung on to the ring for a couple months because he wanted to get past the common engagement season of Nov-Feb because I’d mentioned something about it in the past and he remembered that I’d said I would prefer not to get engaged during the holiday season. He remembered more than I did. That didn’t keep me from constantly expecting a proposal and any moment, and I remember loving the anticipation of knowing it was coming any day. I suggest just try to keep busy and maybe stay off of wedding websites for a bit in case it makes you start feeling resentful. Give him the benefit of the doubt that a propsal is coming. He’s got the ring so let him do his thing. The proposal is just as much about him as it is about you. Unless he’s given you a reason to think he’ll put off the proposal for an extended amount of time just try and enjoy this time knowing a proposal is coming! 

Post # 3
Member
1140 posts
Bumble bee

Oh bee how exciting! I guess just do whatever you can to distract yourself! I know that’s extra tough during a pandemic. I heard The Flight Attendant is good! 😂 Can’t wait to see the ring!

Post # 6
Member
117 posts
Blushing bee

Oogle rings on here, that helped me stay sane!! But I mean if you want distraction I recommend La Revolution on Netflix 😂 but I hope you get it soon! 🤞

Post # 7
Member
1140 posts
Bumble bee

Not gonna lie, I came back hoping he popped the question today. 😆 

Search Party on HBO Max is a good distraction too!

Post # 9
Member
1670 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2020

View original reply
@lovenatsbaseball:  the excuses don’t sound promising. What are these mental health issues with his sister? If he knew engagement was imminent, why is he waiting so long to tell his family?

Are you worried that he’s getting cold feet, or are you just antsy for sparkle?

It’s time to sit him down for a real talk about what’s really going on. The joy of waiting has turned from happy anticipation to stress eating. He needs to shit or get off the pot.

Post # 10
Member
161 posts
Blushing bee

I FEEL you. My bf and I have been talking about an engagement and wedding for a while now. He has the ring (I’ve asked it to hide it from me) and now it’s the waiting game. I know it’s coming but don’t know when. He knows I don’t want it be a year because come on… but I also know he wants to make it special. 

I’m not scared of him getting cold feet just impatient to begin that next chapter. And to have that beautiful sparkle to stare at all day long. He’s been working 60-80 hour weeks so I know it’ll be a bit until his job stress goes down so I’m trying to keep busy and not think about it. Try to do the same! A new hobby, workout routine, deep house cleaning, etc!

Post # 11
Member
161 posts
Blushing bee

View original reply
@BuzzedBumblingBee:  I think we need to get the proposer some leniency. I’m in a similiar boat and my bf said that he was planning on proposing last may when we went to Puerto Rico. We had a hike to an old tower in the jungle planned. But covid came and he didn’t buy the ring because he thought if we lost our jobs having the extra money would be key. I now know he has the ring but he said he wants to make it special. Not just sitting on the couch (which I told him is ok) but he wants to make it something to remember. I think guys feel the pressure that social media puts on them. Over the top proposals, families being involved, hidden photographers, etc. 

Post # 12
Member
776 posts
Busy bee

Why does he need to discuss your impending engagement with his family. Can’t he tell them once he’s proposed? Will he have to discuss your wedding plans with them before you go look at venues? Will he have to discuss having children with them before you TTC?  Your engagement is between you and him. It’s a bit worrying that he started with excuses. There’s been many threads here about men having rings for months or years and no proposal.

Post # 13
Member
568 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2020

My now fiance waited 3 months from when he picked up the ring, it was super fustrating but he had reasons and was also still wanting to suprise me with how he proposed.

The way he put it is I get to plan the wedding (mostly anyway, he is helping) and he gets to plan the proposal so I needed to give him the space to do that.

I felt like I was going a bit crazy too, but after the proposal I completely forgot all of that. I had pretty much pinterest planned the whole wedding while I waited!

Post # 14
Member
10403 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

I need , l think, to have it carefully explained to me, what ‘planning a proposal ‘ really entails these days. I am always being cross on behalf of bees who know their bf has a ring but won’t give it to them because of this planning thing. I understand that social media etc has probably created  expectations of fairly elaborate romantic settings and the ‘ surprise ‘ element, but l still can’t quite comprehend the length of time that seems to be required for this. (Well, tbh l don’t understand why the element of surprise at all, is anyone actually really surprised? I mean beyond it being a day or place they hadn’t envisioned perhaps)

I think what confuses me most is when the woman knows he has the ring, maybe even chose it herself, and he knows she knows and also knows how much she is longing to have the proposal and ring…and still he keeps it hidden. I understand cold feet of course, but not this need for weeks and months of planning . Am l wrong in thinking most women really just would like a nice romantic little speech/ question perhaps in in a nice or significant place? 

Do men now really feel pressure to do much more than this ? Perhaps l only know rather basic types ( l do live in Australia lol)  but none of them, of whatever age , ever considered anything except the right ring given pretty much as soon as found . 

Post # 15
Member
776 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
@elderberry: 

Right? These proposals are often taking longer than planning an actual wedding. These men are perfectly capable of planning holidays, careers, mortgages, house moves, car maintenence etc but picking a day and place to go down on one knee eludes them for months on end.

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