Post # 2
My husband hung on to the ring for a couple months because he wanted to get past the common engagement season of Nov-Feb because I’d mentioned something about it in the past and he remembered that I’d said I would prefer not to get engaged during the holiday season. He remembered more than I did. That didn’t keep me from constantly expecting a proposal and any moment, and I remember loving the anticipation of knowing it was coming any day. I suggest just try to keep busy and maybe stay off of wedding websites for a bit in case it makes you start feeling resentful. Give him the benefit of the doubt that a propsal is coming. He’s got the ring so let him do his thing. The proposal is just as much about him as it is about you. Unless he’s given you a reason to think he’ll put off the proposal for an extended amount of time just try and enjoy this time knowing a proposal is coming!
Post # 3
Oh bee how exciting! I guess just do whatever you can to distract yourself! I know that’s extra tough during a pandemic. I heard The Flight Attendant is good! 😂 Can’t wait to see the ring!
Post # 4
Thanks for the reply! I’m ashamed to admit that I’ve reminded him of the return window just in case something is wrong with the setting, etc. I may have done this so I know it will happen within the next month
. We’ve been together for 5.5 years so I’m not feeling tooo bad about that though, haha.
Post # 5
It’s so hard. Here I am having the jewelry insurance company ask for pictures of the rings (that I don’t want to see), making my boyfriend take them to not ruin the surprise.
I know where it is and asked him to re-hide it because it gets really tempting when he’s not in the apartment. I have the patience of a toddler. I can’t wait to post the ring!
Post # 6
Oogle rings on here, that helped me stay sane!! But I mean if you want distraction I recommend La Revolution on Netflix 😂 but I hope you get it soon! 🤞
Post # 7
Not gonna lie, I came back hoping he popped the question today. 😆
Search Party on HBO Max is a good distraction too!
Post # 8
So I’m getting more impatient and told him today it’s driving me crazy. He just told me that he wants to talk to his sister in person first (having some mental health difficulties right now) and then give my parents a heads up right before the engagement (since they do kind of gossip). Well, he’s making a ton of excuses about why he can’t have those conversations ASAP and I told him I’m tired of having to push him for something I’ve been waiting for so long. He’s literally talked about having the conversation with his sister for ~4 months and hasn’t yet.
Ugh! I’m petty, stress eating, and impatient.
Post # 9
the excuses don’t sound promising. What are these mental health issues with his sister? If he knew engagement was imminent, why is he waiting so long to tell his family?
Are you worried that he’s getting cold feet, or are you just antsy for sparkle?
It’s time to sit him down for a real talk about what’s really going on. The joy of waiting has turned from happy anticipation to stress eating. He needs to shit or get off the pot.
Post # 10
I FEEL you. My bf and I have been talking about an engagement and wedding for a while now. He has the ring (I’ve asked it to hide it from me) and now it’s the waiting game. I know it’s coming but don’t know when. He knows I don’t want it be a year because come on… but I also know he wants to make it special.
I’m not scared of him getting cold feet just impatient to begin that next chapter. And to have that beautiful sparkle to stare at all day long. He’s been working 60-80 hour weeks so I know it’ll be a bit until his job stress goes down so I’m trying to keep busy and not think about it. Try to do the same! A new hobby, workout routine, deep house cleaning, etc!
Post # 11
I think we need to get the proposer some leniency. I’m in a similiar boat and my bf said that he was planning on proposing last may when we went to Puerto Rico. We had a hike to an old tower in the jungle planned. But covid came and he didn’t buy the ring because he thought if we lost our jobs having the extra money would be key. I now know he has the ring but he said he wants to make it special. Not just sitting on the couch (which I told him is ok) but he wants to make it something to remember. I think guys feel the pressure that social media puts on them. Over the top proposals, families being involved, hidden photographers, etc.
Post # 12
Why does he need to discuss your impending engagement with his family. Can’t he tell them once he’s proposed? Will he have to discuss your wedding plans with them before you go look at venues? Will he have to discuss having children with them before you TTC? Your engagement is between you and him. It’s a bit worrying that he started with excuses. There’s been many threads here about men having rings for months or years and no proposal.
Post # 13
My now fiance waited 3 months from when he picked up the ring, it was super fustrating but he had reasons and was also still wanting to suprise me with how he proposed.
The way he put it is I get to plan the wedding (mostly anyway, he is helping) and he gets to plan the proposal so I needed to give him the space to do that.
I felt like I was going a bit crazy too, but after the proposal I completely forgot all of that. I had pretty much pinterest planned the whole wedding while I waited!
Post # 14
I need , l think, to have it carefully explained to me, what ‘planning a proposal ‘ really entails these days. I am always being cross on behalf of bees who know their bf has a ring but won’t give it to them because of this planning thing. I understand that social media etc has probably created expectations of fairly elaborate romantic settings and the ‘ surprise ‘ element, but l still can’t quite comprehend the length of time that seems to be required for this. (Well, tbh l don’t understand why the element of surprise at all, is anyone actually really surprised? I mean beyond it being a day or place they hadn’t envisioned perhaps)
I think what confuses me most is when the woman knows he has the ring, maybe even chose it herself, and he knows she knows and also knows how much she is longing to have the proposal and ring…and still he keeps it hidden. I understand cold feet of course, but not this need for weeks and months of planning . Am l wrong in thinking most women really just would like a nice romantic little speech/ question perhaps in in a nice or significant place?
Do men now really feel pressure to do much more than this ? Perhaps l only know rather basic types ( l do live in Australia lol) but none of them, of whatever age , ever considered anything except the right ring given pretty much as soon as found .
Post # 15
Right? These proposals are often taking longer than planning an actual wedding. These men are perfectly capable of planning holidays, careers, mortgages, house moves, car maintenence etc but picking a day and place to go down on one knee eludes them for months on end.