I can relate so much to your story which is why I have commented quite a bit.
I had a relationship – it was short, about two months, same as yours – I fell for the guy as soon as I met him. The more time I spent with him, the more I realised how well we fit together, how deeply we connected and how much I could love him. I could tell he felt the same way and we both really enjoyed our time together.
However, he was not all in emotionally right from the get go. He had kept saying to me that he wanted us to spend time together and “see how it goes,” and “see what develops over time.” I was fine with that initially, but when he started exhibiting distant, ambivalent behaviour, I knew I was no longer really fine with it.
He also opened up to me a lot about deep, personal stuff. Granted, his issues were not the same as your guy’s, but all the same, he shared a lot with me, and I came to realise through that that he was probably not truly over some or a lot of that stuff.
After one particularly wonderful night when we had a long heart-to-heart – he had said he would marry me if I fell pregnant and that I checked off everything he was looking for, and again ending with him saying he wanted to “see how it goes” – he became a bit distant. Texted me, and also went quiet at times. Finally, when it became difficult to make plans with him a few days later, we broke it off. He knew it wasn’t fair to keep me in limbo, and I knew it too.
I was really, really devastated because he was everything I was looking for in a guy, and I knew he was someone I could love and that I already did love him. He also was an amazing person, and I felt so sad it ended this way. Again, I felt like he was an incredible person with a lot to offer, but also needed time to think and work on stuff on his own. He wanted to still be friends, but we agreed to have space and time apart for a while.
Anyway, I just wanted to say that I really empathise with what you’re going through and sending you lots of hugs and comfort. It’s very hard.