(Closed) He is going to counseling but……..

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
7293 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

I think you have every right to feel the way you do !

Also, I think you have made up you mind and you shouldn’t let him change it. He needs help whether you stay in a marriage or not! So , I ‘m glad he might get some, but don’t base you and your childrens future on his mental health or life choices!

Stay strong! Keep fighting for you and your kids. The more you get him out of your life, the better things will be.

Post # 4
Member
6124 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@mrskisstobe:  “I don’t even see the point in him going to counseling because he will make himself out to be the victim and has this mean nasty wife who is making him lose his family and friends.”

 

If he does do this, let him.  The therapist is not going to get on the wife-bashing wagon with him.  Therapists will get to the root of the issue and they don’t put blame on people.  The help the person realize things and figure things out for THEM, not identify the so called evil doers in their lives which lead to where they are now.  It’s not how it supposed to work!

So he’ll go to counseling to keep his job but not fix his marriage.  Hmmm.

Let us know if he goes!

Post # 5
Member
6009 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

Are you guys still separated?  It seems like you’re feeling pretty done with this whole relationship, and that’s ok.  It’s ok to admit that you’ve reached your limit and that you can’t give him another chance.  You’re not to blame for his problems, and if he’s not willing to admit that and actually work through his issues, counseling isn’t going to help any.  Hopefully, if he has a good therapist, s/he will hold him accountable for his issues and not let him put the blame on you.  He has a lot of individual work to do, and he’s not going to improve any if he keeps blaming you.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this, and I really hope that tonight’s session opens his eyes to how much he can actually lose if he continues to blame you for his issues.  Please PM me if you ever need someone to talk to. 

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