Post # 1
I am absolutely shattered bees. My grandfather, who raised me from six months old until I went away to college at 17, passed away on Thursday morning. To call him just grandfather doesn’t convey what he really meant to me.
I recieved a phone call that he had gone downhill quickly and was in a coma on Tuesday morning. I had just been down to visit two weeks before and while he was weak and bedridden he was still talkative and had his sense of humor. To see him unable to move, speak or even open his eyes was devastating.
I stayed with him several hours a day during my emergency visit and the night before he passed I was there alone with him for two hours and told him EVERYTHING. I told him my thoughts, dreams, my DH and I plans for having a baby soon, told him I was thankful, that I appreciated him and wouldn’t be who I am without him. When I left I noticed his face was expressive but still with eyes shut and unable to talk. Leaving him was the hardest thing ever and I told him I would be back the next day. I got the call at 8 am on Thursday telling me the bad news.
I am walking the fine line of disbelief, shock and utter sadness at this point. People keep telling me he is in a better place (as a Christian I understand their efforts) but call me selfish as I would rather have him here.
I write this more for myself and my grief than anything else. I keep telling people out loud that he passed hoping that at some point it will sink in that he is really gone.
Post # 3
I’m so, so sorry. I am sure his life was so much better because you were in it. He knows he is loved. I am glad you were able to talk with him in the hospital. Sending you postive thoughts at this difficult time.
Post # 4
I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m glad that you had that last evening with him – I think you’ll always be grateful for that time. Try to remember that when people say “He’s in a better place” they mean well, even if the vast majority of people who have lost a loved one do NOT find that sentiment comforting. You aren’t selfish for wanting him here with you, not at all. I’m so sorry.
Post # 5
I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I know that it is hard to lose someone that you love. I am praying for you and your family.
Post # 6
I’m sorry about your loss. It may never “sink in” but you will definitely get back to a time where the first things that come to mind are your happy memories, instead of sadness and missing him.
Post # 7
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. My heart breaks for you.
Your situation sounds simliar to when my grandfather passed away from cancer (I was the last to see him, he was barely conscious and so frail but the light in his eyes came back when I spoke to him). Just remember that his last memory was of you and I am sure he was so happy that you were there.
Surround yourself with loved ones and take the time to grieve. *Hugs*
Post # 8
I am so so so sorry. i am praying for you and your family!
Post # 9
Thank you bees for your supportive comments. I really appreciate it.
Post # 10
I’m so very, very sorry, @Treejewel19:
My DH just conducted, and I attended, a funeral earlier today of a dear man from our church, who passed away after less than a month of being ill, and one of his granddaughters spoke during the service. She had such wonderful things to say and special memories to share of her grandfather. The fact that your grandfather was both grandfather and father to you must compound your loss immensely.
In his sermon, DH addressed the fact of this gentleman now being in a much better place with Jesus, but he also spoke of how it is absolutely OK for his family to be sad and to grieve the loss of him here and now, with them.
I pray that the Lord will comfort you and bring you peace as you begin to process this immeasurable loss.
Post # 11
So sorry for your loss. Know that eventhough he won’t be physically with you that he will be shining down on you on your special day.
Post # 12
i’m so sorry for your loss. i lost my grandmother just a few weeks ago, so i know exactly how you’re feeling. her health went downhill pretty quickly, just like your grandpa’s. i’m just glad my husband and i got married last year instead of this year, like we had originally planned, so she was able to see me get married. i still can’t believe she’s gone.
it’s going to hurt for a while, but take all the time you need to grieve and cry when you need to cry. you’re in my prayers.
Post # 13
I’m so sorry, and I know that doesn’t help much, but I am…..for every special person in my life that I’ve lost, there’s a place for us and us alone….with my Grandma it’s when I sit at what used to be her vanity to do my makeup every morning, my Grandpa it’s actually inside the building I work at now….and it isn’t often, but every once in a while I’ll be there and their memory will resound in my mind…..I’ll hear her telling me that only bad girls got their ears pierced, I’ll run across an old file with his handwriting….and I feel like an old friend drove by and waved, no time to stop, but a passing gesture that reminds me while we may be far apart, we’re closer than I could ever know.
Go to your place, that special place and let it wash through you, it’s going to hurt, and some souls, we just never get over losing….but we heal around it, and carry a scar only we know about, and we may limp the rest of our lives over it, but at least that serves as a reminder of how deep loves runs.
Post # 15
@Treejewel19: I’m so sorry for your loss.
I lost my grandfather two years ago and while he didn’t raise me (my mum did) he was the only male role model in my life and we were very close, so I can understand the emptiness and devastation you feel.
As much as you will despise anyone who says this, things will get better. It will hurt less and you will reach a place where you can remember him, the moments you shared, the happiness you had together and you will smile rather then cry.
For now, allow yourself time to grieve, cry and be angry that he was taken from you. That is in no way selfish. You need time to come to terms with your loss, don’t push yourself to ‘be okay’ or let others dictate how long it takes you to accept this.
Post # 16
Sorry for your loss **hugs**