He is lovely but very shy. Should I ask him out?

posted 1 month ago in Relationships
Post # 2
672 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

Why not. My friend asked out her partner – he thought she’d never be interested in him as he’s a bit younger – but they’ve moved in together now. 

Post # 3
6674 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

My Dh needed to be hit on the head with a rock that said, “I like you! Ask me out!” He was just clueless. Since we worked in a mall when we started dating, I bet him that I could close my store faster than he could close his, and that the loser owed the other a drink. He lost and took me out for a drink. 

Now, I did expect him to continue to ask me out after that; I wasn’t going to be the only person making an effort. He did all the pursuing after that, and we’ve been married for many years. But if I had not set up the first “date”, who knows if he would have ever got the message?

I say it’s worth a shot. If he doesn’t act on things after that, then you know he isn’t interested. But some men need a little push. 

Post # 5
761 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I jokingly asked my SO after we first met “are you going to ask for my phone number or not?”.  He stuttered and then asked 😂. 
That’s what I’d do “Are you going to ask me out on a date or not?”  It makes it obvious you’ll say yes but let’s him know he still has to ask.  Or just ask him.

Post # 6
9869 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

My husband is really shy and I definitely did most of the initiating at the start of our relationship. And I’m so glad I did because he’s prettt much perfect for me and we’re still super happy together 11 years later. 

Post # 7
626 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

I think you could also drop heavy hints: how much you’d LOVE to see such and such or do whatever, how it’s your favourite thing ever.

I mean, he kind of asked you out with the other event so I don’t think it’s a big deal to ask him to something. Just make sure you don’t throw 5 balls in his court before he hits one back! For some reason I see this happen a lot from both sexes. Let it be a back and forth!


my husband is outgoing but he took foooooorever to ask me out. I think I hinted heavily after awhile and he picked up on it and we went to a farmers market and had a picnic! We ended up getting married in that exact spot 4 years later 🥰

Post # 8
6835 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

When my dad met my mom, they were both working together and my mom basically fell head over heels right away. My dad was much more reserved though. As she tells me, it was obvious to her that he definitely liked her, but he’d always says things like “we should do this sometime…” but then stop just short of actually asking her out. One day my mom was just sick of waiting and said, verbatim: “when are you actually going to ask me out shithead?” 😳 Well they’ve been happily married for over 38 years now. Some people just need a little push. 

Post # 10
86 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2019

I say go for it! My Dh was the first guy I ever asked out, and I’m definitely glad I did.  I don’t know that he would have done it.

Post # 11
8962 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

magiccircle :  ask him out! It sounds like he is really into you, but maybe his shyness is holding him back from actually asking you out! 

Post # 12
8962 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

magiccircle :  ah just seen you ARE going to ask him out. Keep us posted and good luck! 

Post # 14
11140 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

magiccircle :  

They may still be.  He may really have had plans.

The ball is now 100% in his court.  Just be friendly and business as usual.

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