Post # 1
I joined a voluntary organisation a few months ago and hit it off with a guy immediately. It’s hard to explain but after about a week the ‘aha! He likes me’ thought go through my head (and trust me, there have been plenty of times when I wasn’t sure!). As a volunteer group, we are quite tight knit in general but here are some more reasons:
– during breaks he happily comes shopping or for coffees with me. He also does me little favours or goes out of is way to help me.
– if we are out for a meal with the group, he always offers to share his food & drinks with me (he doesn’t do with this others generally)
– he asks interesting questions about my life and brings up tiny details I have mentioned in passing weeks later. He compliments what I wear.
– ‘the look’. I don’t know how else to describe it. I have only had it from a few people. Sparkly-eyed ‘you are fascinating’ sort of thing.
Even though he can be quite out-going sometimes, he quiet most of the time socially. It’s weird because some days I feel he is flirting and other days can barely meet my eye, which is quite strange. We talk online and send each other music/book recommendations during the week.
Weeks ago he said he hoped an event he likes/thinks I might like will make a comeback if I would like to go…but so far it doesn’t look like it’s happening! Meanwhile, I have seen a different event I think he will like/I definitely want to go to. Shall I just ask him to go with me?
On the one hand, I think he may just need this initial push to know I’m interested – and on the other, I don’t want to be the one making all the effort if it turns out he doesn’t like so much after all/doesn’t want a relationship.
Post # 2
Why not. My friend asked out her partner – he thought she’d never be interested in him as he’s a bit younger – but they’ve moved in together now.
Post # 3
My Dh needed to be hit on the head with a rock that said, “I like you! Ask me out!” He was just clueless. Since we worked in a mall when we started dating, I bet him that I could close my store faster than he could close his, and that the loser owed the other a drink. He lost and took me out for a drink.
Now, I did expect him to continue to ask me out after that; I wasn’t going to be the only person making an effort. He did all the pursuing after that, and we’ve been married for many years. But if I had not set up the first “date”, who knows if he would have ever got the message?
I say it’s worth a shot. If he doesn’t act on things after that, then you know he isn’t interested. But some men need a little push.
Post # 4
echomomm : this is how I feel at the moment echomomm! That he would need to be hit over the head before he gets it.
There is another guy at the volunteer place who flirts with me sometimes (a bit too touchy feely when we talk). The last time the other guy started getting a bit handsy I ignored him and placed my arm on this other guy’s several times, making sure I was flirting with him and him only – he looked pretty pleased about it!
In my heart I think he has feelings for me too – but he hasn’t asked me out and that makes me unsure. Although I can see him thinking I wouldn’t be interested. I am trying to get the courage up and hoping he will take the lead after that.
Post # 5
I jokingly asked my SO after we first met “are you going to ask for my phone number or not?”. He stuttered and then asked 😂.
That’s what I’d do “Are you going to ask me out on a date or not?” It makes it obvious you’ll say yes but let’s him know he still has to ask. Or just ask him.
Post # 6
My husband is really shy and I definitely did most of the initiating at the start of our relationship. And I’m so glad I did because he’s prettt much perfect for me and we’re still super happy together 11 years later.
Post # 7
I think you could also drop heavy hints: how much you’d LOVE to see such and such or do whatever, how it’s your favourite thing ever.
I mean, he kind of asked you out with the other event so I don’t think it’s a big deal to ask him to something. Just make sure you don’t throw 5 balls in his court before he hits one back! For some reason I see this happen a lot from both sexes. Let it be a back and forth!
my husband is outgoing but he took foooooorever to ask me out. I think I hinted heavily after awhile and he picked up on it and we went to a farmers market and had a picnic! We ended up getting married in that exact spot 4 years later 🥰
Post # 8
When my dad met my mom, they were both working together and my mom basically fell head over heels right away. My dad was much more reserved though. As she tells me, it was obvious to her that he definitely liked her, but he’d always says things like “we should do this sometime…” but then stop just short of actually asking her out. One day my mom was just sick of waiting and said, verbatim: “when are you actually going to ask me out shithead?” 😳 Well they’ve been happily married for over 38 years now. Some people just need a little push.
Post # 9
Thanks for your replies ladies. I feel a huge amount of butterflies/am a bit scared at the thought of asking him out but I’m going to do it. I don’t mind making the move initially as long as it is reciprocated later on and he isn’t passively waiting for me to do it all.
He’s on holiday next week so I’ll suggest the event after that.
And possibly report back for moral support! I really like him…
Post # 10
I say go for it! My Dh was the first guy I ever asked out, and I’m definitely glad I did. I don’t know that he would have done it.
Post # 11
magiccircle : ask him out! It sounds like he is really into you, but maybe his shyness is holding him back from actually asking you out!
Post # 12
magiccircle : ah just seen you ARE going to ask him out. Keep us posted and good luck!
Post # 13
Well I asked him to come to an event with me in a couple of days (via facebook, I know a bit pathetic) and he replied saying that he would really like to come but already has plans and thanked me for the invite.
I feel a bit sad really! I’ve been pretty sure that the feelings were mutual.
Post # 14
They may still be. He may really have had plans.
The ball is now 100% in his court. Just be friendly and business as usual.
Post # 15
I agree that is completely possible. But wouldn’t he have suggested an alternative if he was interested?
I’ll see him in a couple of days so I suppose I’ll see what he says then.