I agree with wanting the honeymoon to be more of a finacial priority than the reception – claireos says it pretty well – “If you want to drop 10K on something, let’s do it on an amazing honeymoon. I’d be sick if we spent 5K on flowers alone just for a single celebration.”
I’ve been to 2 weddings since Jan 1, one was a simple church-afternoon lunch with cake an sparkling cider, and the other was catered in te kinda ritzy cafe in an art gallery, but it was kept small. Both of those look to be abot what I could handle. I’m actually a little afraid of the MEGA-wedding coming in June with about 250 people attending, and a bride from a large, well-off family who seems to want everything to be perfect (the bigger it is, the more that can go wrong) and I’m actually worried about her in the days leading up to it. Big weddings are a LOT of work, even if you don’t have to worry about the expenses.
Also, men don’t often realize how much planing goes into a wedding, small or large. Maybe your SO needs a bit of a practical wake up about how much time and energy goes into a large, lavish wedding. Maybe a “chore” list split between the two of you, with plenty put on his plate, could help him see that it’s not just pick a place, pick a cake and throw on a tux and you’re done – you’ve got to pick who can come, how many people to feed, seating arrangements to prevent aunti-so and so from continuing the blood feud with uncle so and so, where guests can stay, when to do it, where to do it, can you even reserve the place you want or is it booked, how many in the bridal party – bridesmaids AND groomsmen, ushers, flower girls, ring bearers, are there split and blended family issues to consider… etc. At the wedding this weekend, my friend the groom walked his grandparents, his mom and step-dad AND his step-mom and dad all down the aisle. He had to do a lot of walking, there, simply because his family was non-traditional. Men think it’s just pick a dress, pick a tux, grab some flowers the day before and you’re set. I’ve seen lots of ladies on the Bee talking about how surprised their FIs are when told it ca tkae 6 mos or so just to get the dress to fit.
I’m sure whatever you decide it will be beautiful, and it’s a good time to learn how well you can compromise for the rest of your life 🙂