He is trying to suck me back in and I need help.

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
Member
4840 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

soulful1 :  Reading about the emotional 180 might help you.  While it doesn’t apply directly, there are some good tips for rebuilding your self esteem and moving on from a difficult situation.

http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/faq_bs.asp#FAQ11

Wishing you the best, and I hope you can keep your dogs.  They are the best friends, and the best therapy in the world.  

Post # 19
Member
1815 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

You need to move on. When you start to feel weak think of the guy at the bar you chatted with. He sounds like the sort of guy you should be with. You’re not your ex’s mommy – you shouldn’t be looking after a grown adult.

IF… You decide to stay, there are a bunch of things that need to happen. Ex has to pull himself together. That includes admitting the addiction and getting help – rehab or a therapist. He needs to stop with the drugs; he has to become fiscally responsible; and he has to be responsible for his dog. I doubt when you give him this list he will be so enthusiastic to have you stay. 

Post # 20
Member
1611 posts
Bumble bee

soulful1 :  there is nothing wrong with you. At the end of the day you two just weren’t compatible and he had issues that he wasn’t willing to fix. A relationship is a two way street, can’t do it without the other. 

I know this is most likely pulling at your heart strings at the moment but think. If you got back together, what is different? If there isn’t enough difference from the last time there nothing is different from last time and it will fail. You will only end up hurting yourself more and wasting time that you could use to move on. 

Post # 21
Member
2442 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: NJ

No matter how he begs or what he says do not stay with him, or get back together with him in any form, for any reason. Even if he says he wants to stay friends (that is a common ploy) don’t do it unless you have been broken up at least a year, and better not to anyway. 

This is why they say breaking up is hard to do, and even write songs about it. If you go through with moving out and never see him again, you will be so relieved, you won’t believe it.

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