(Closed) He just did the cutest thing.. :)

posted 8 years ago in Long Distance Relationships
Post # 3
Member
1106 posts
Bumble bee

I got to see my SO this past weekend after 6 weeks of not seeing him. We were laying in bed and hes like “baby.. how awsome is it that we get to do this for the rest of our lives.”..

Post # 5
Member
1106 posts
Bumble bee

I know right? I love when they let their “sensitive” side come out

Post # 6
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Aw that’s so cute. My guy wore a ring when he was deployed, too, but then relegated it to his dog tags b/c technically, you can’t wear a ring unless you are married (and his boss was a punk) or it’s your class ring on your right hand. You should get it engraved for him….I’m such a sucker for personal stuff. It’s not like they get personal things when they’re deployed. In fact, send him your pillowcase. It’s one of the few non-military issued items he can have, plus it’ll smell like you Smile

Also, I’m not sure what your situation is, but if you are cohabiting, living together, depending on his salary, you should seriously consider getting married before he deploys. The combat pay, BAH, etc, all disappear for you once he’s deployed. We didn’t get married before because I was still in college and a dependent of my parents, but look into it and it may be wise for your situation.

Post # 8
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Yeah that was our situation. If we got married, my parents told me it meant I didn’t have thier financial support anymore. And uh, college tuition, stipend, and money I had borrowed from them (and paid back!) was more than DH’s spousal combat pay. It just would’ve been a mess. I know it’s not what most people do, but we felt like we were getting married BECAUSE he was deploying. And since I didn’t “depend” on him, we felt like we should wait and “do it right”. Now, if we WERE living together, we would’ve gotten married because in my mind, it wouldn’t have been right to do that to me. It was totally worth waiting for. In hindsight, the extra chunk would’ve been nice, but i’m not sure the financial benefits would’ve been “worth it” for our situation with me still in college. I didn’t want to get married in college (“just to get married” before he left…it felt….weird?) and go down that road. It felt like I was forcing/rushing it even though we knew we were going to get married. Oh, plus, I would’ve gotten kicked out of my sorority–you deactivate once you get married. And I DEFINITELY didn’t want to do that! That was my entire support system.

I know enlisted guys get to pick their R&R dates before the officers. Darling Husband was a captain so he had to wait and see what open slots were left so you’ll know the timeframe relatively early. That being said, I’d tread VERY cautiously planning a wedding during R&R….it’s such a crapshoot, I wouldn’t do it unless it’s a JOP, last minute planned sort of shindig. And if you plan on doing it when he’s deployed, give yourself a good chunk of buffer time. We gave ourselves 6 months just in case he didn’t get back in time (and January is a bad time of year in the midwest). Ask for vendor discounts–people are very sympathetic when your SO is deployed and we got lots of discounts. Also, Lowes–10% off every time you buy stuff =]. And, if your SO has a college degree and/or is close to obtaining one, he should consider the green to gold route. ESPECIALLY if he plans on staying in. The benefits and pay are insanely “better” on the officer side. And you essentially do a lot of the same work once you get into the specialist range of the enlisted ranks. It’s just something to consider. Everybody I know is an officer, and many were green to gold and couldn’t be happier with their choice.

I can blab forever about this stuff. IF you go to the FRG meetings, just know they’re kinda stupid =]. They’ll tell you to stay home and support your soldier, don’t go to bars, don’t go out, etc etc….i thought they were kinda frustrating. I still went out and had fun with my friends. It was the only way for me to not sit around and mope on a Friday night =]. Anyways, they cram it down your throats pretty intensely. Since you’re still in college, I’m goign to assume you’re going to have a little bit of fun, regardless =]. But even Dh was like “wow this is an offensive meeting” but then I found out the divorce rate is like 80% for military couples who get married before a divorce…the statistics are not pretty and they will try to scare you, just so ya know! They’re crazy!

When he gets closer to getting deployed, shoot me a PM. We did a 15 month stint and honestly, the first month was the hardest and after that, I fell into a rhythm and was like “eh, this isn’t so bad”. I had my blue days occassionally but i honestly imagined it to be like, 20 times worse than it really ended up being. So try not to dwell on how awful it’ll be. I spent a lot of nights crying over it, when in reality, i shouldn’t have!

Ok, novel over. Sorry everyone else got subjected to my military article =]

Post # 9
Member
1106 posts
Bumble bee

Just an idea.. you could always get married at the courthouse before he leaves and do the ceremony when he gets back.

Post # 11
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

5 years in the reseves?! That’s a long time. He may be surprised at how much he likes OR hates the military. Darling Husband hated it but we have friends who love it.

Deployments are typically 12 months. They were 15 when Bush was in office. But really it depends on where he gets stationed and where his permanent place will be. If he’s deployed June 2010, he should be home by October 2010. Most places will workw ith you if he gets stuck overseas longer–our venue said they’d happily move our wedding date b/c of the circumstances.

THe one thing i learned about being married to a military guy…you can’t plan TOO much b/c they’ll mess ita ll up. Promise =]

And for the reasons you listed to TheRen are the reasons we opted out of getting married. Many couples don’t feel this way, but we felt waiting woudl be best. Otherwise, we felt like we’d let the wedding we planned fall aside and we’d feel like “what’s the point”. It was simply glorious when it finally happened. I don’t know what the “other way” feels like…but I’m quite happy with this decision.

nd yes, wehn they get deployed for X amount of time and come home…they cannot be deployed for 12 months. They CAN be stop lossed though….ie if you are close to being OUT of the army, the army can make you stay for a second deployment. Dh basically missed that business by a couple months. But yeah, you get 12 months at home typically.

Post # 12
Member
7779 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Hey armybride! I’m a military Fiance too! My Fiance is Air Force.

Fiance is planning on going career military and staying in for at least the 20 years if not the 30. He’s been in for about a year already. I’m still in college too, I’m scheduled to graduate May 2011 but that last semester will be student teaching. We chose to get married when we are because of deployment as well. Fiance is in the EOD field and he has a year window between the ends of his riduculously long tech school and him being able to be deployed. I will still be in school when we get married. When I talked to the shool about the situation and what I needed to do when it got to be that time they told me that getting married would not affect my financial aid. Your FAFSA doesn’t change in the middle of a school year. As long as you file with your parents when it comes time to send it in, then you have that aid pakage for the whole school year, regardless of your dependent status changing.

I’m glad you get to see him in 15 days! It’ll fly by. We got engaged the weekend of BMT grad. lol. Needless to say, it was a fabulous trip.

Post # 14
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Ummm no, honey. You can be deployed when you’re in the reserves. During 8 years of serving, I wouldn’t be surprised if he serves 3 stints overseas.

Yes of course you can plan in 6 months! My SIL planned in 3 so she could get married with her brother there before he deployed.

As far as finding out when he’s getting deployed, you know his duty station is Fort Hood. Does he have a branch yet? A battallion? Once he finds out those, he should know his deployment schedule. But it shifts somewhat, too. I know Darling Husband was supposed to be deployed in August, then it got pushed back to October….we didn’t find out until July. But we knew about his deployment about 6 months before it happened.

Post # 16
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Yeah….he does one weekend a month and two weeks a year. Darling Husband works 630am-6pm on those Saturdays and Sundays. In April he has a 3 day overnight training session at a base about 3 hours away though.

I have many friends who found out about 1 month before their deployment though. It’s all up in the air, basically, untl he gets his permanent assignment. Then he’s on their schedule, whatever it may be!

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