(Closed) He just dumped me…. for his Mom!

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
2651 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Wow. Just wow.   Hugs!!!

You doged a bullet there I think

Post # 4
Member
11752 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

total bullet dodged. mommas boys make me ill! I’ve dated enough to know they do not make good partners in life – you’ll never be #1 in his eyes. It’s nice for a man to be close to his mother but there is a difference between that and a momma’s boy. Feel better hun – onto bigger and better things now! 

I know it feels right now that you will be sad forever but you won’t.  In fact, you will feel better much sooner than you think!  Delete him from your phone/email/facebook, etc. Cut contact completely – it will make it impossible to get over it if you don’t.  Surround yourself with family and friends and spend time doing things for yourself that you haven’t done in a while becausae you’ve been busy focusing your attention on your relationship – take a cooking class, learn how to do something new, take up a new hobby.  You’ll soon learn to be independent and single again – and it will feel AWESOME!

Post # 5
Member
503 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

be glad that you only had to spend one year with him to realize what you do not want in a relationship 🙂

Post # 6
Hostess
7561 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

@imalittlebirdie:  Agreed. Be happy that you won’t have to deal with such a dependent guy. Your man needs to be on your team, not his mother’s. 

Post # 7
Member
4327 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

Tell him to have fun with that umbilical cord, and make this crisis into an opportunity for yourself. Now it’s time to go explore new and interesting things that maybe you have always wanted to do, but never had the time to. I love telling people to seek meetup.com because you can literally find ANYTHING you’re interested in on it, and pursue a hobby, and meet new interesting people. 

If he can’t commit to anyone but Mommy, it’s best he recognized his inability to function as a normal adult.

Post # 10
Member
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I dated a mama’s boy once. Thankfully we were only together for a few months before this surfaced. The first time I met his mom she talked my ear off about her kitchen appliances (no joke) for an hour and then told him that she thought I was cold because I didn’t interject with anecdotes about myself (well who interrupts someone pontificating about kitchen appliances to talk about themselves – at least ask me some questions, you’d think you’d be interested). Him and I had both thought the meeting went well until I left and his mother told him what she thought of me. He then proceeded to tell me every single thing she’d said and had the gall to tell me he was ‘disappointed in me.’ I ended it with him and a few days later he came crawling back for forgiveness professing his love and how he didn’t realize how much he’d miss me and I was ‘the one.’ We didn’t get back together.

The point is, in the end, they aren’t going to be happy choosing their moms over their girlfriends, but that’s their cross to bear. I know it feels like life is ending but for real you seriously dodged a bullet. I know that sounds trite, but try to picture a life of needing to make adult decisions, plan a wedding, have children, career, etc. with his mom as the third wheel in your relationship. You are going to move on to find someone who puts you first in life and truly wants to build a life with YOU and not with you and mom. *hugs*

Post # 11
Member
6745 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

oh wow.  just.. wow.  i can’t believe he’s 27 y/o and broke up with his gf to move back in with his mom bc the adult relationship he was in was hurting his mom too much

wow.

you’re so lucky right now, trust me.  TRUST me, you’re so lucky that this ended sooner rather than later. 

go find yourself a real man.  one who has a strong bond with his mom, but not one who is controlled by her or who will find any woman to be second place to his mom for the rest of his life..

sorry that you had to wait this long to figure this out.. time heals all wounds, we’re here for you!

 

Post # 14
Member
372 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Aw I’m so sorry! I don’t know the situation perfectly, but I think it’s better that you’re not with him. You deserve someone who you will ultimately be very happy with! I was never a fan of huge momma’s boys. It’s nice that he loves and respects his mom, but geez, this is taking it too far.

Post # 15
Member
11343 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

I agree that this man, regardless of his age, does not seem anywhere near ready to make a commitment to “leave” his mother and “cleave” unto a wife. He doesn’t even seem to be able to be out on his own yet, let alone in a position to have a healthy relationship with someone else. I think had this relationship moved forward, you may have been a very unhappy woman.

Post # 16
Member
1068 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

27 years old and can’t leave his mom, despite being able to? Yeah, I’d definitely say you dodged a bullet.

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