(Closed) He just insulted the hell out of me….

posted 8 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 3
Member
5263 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

Wow, someone’s having a jackass day?

I’d be pissed.

Post # 4
Member
461 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Okay, I get that he might find an extra photo session a bit unnecessary/vain, but he DOES NOT get to talk to you like that, and especially not curse you out over anything but especially something like that?  Is there an underlying issue like the cost of the photos?  Were you arguing already?  He sounds like he has an anger problem just by what you wrote in your post…

Post # 5
Member
1075 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

OMG!!  I can’t believe your Fiance said that to you.  I’m so sorry.  I don’t really know what to say to that.  I just hope that you can brush that off as an “off-day” comment.  I hope you have a great time at your TTD photoshoot and hope you will share it with us where you know you will be showered with kind words

Post # 6
Member
1982 posts
Buzzing bee

Wow, I don’t want to speculate here, but um… is your Fiance often like this? If so, he has some anger problems. That was really mean of him to do and say to you, and I would get to the bottom of what the problem is (without irritating him more).

((hugs)) that sucks to hear, I’m sure.

Post # 7
Member
175 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I can understand that he might flip out if he saw you writing (negatively) about him on a public forum. I don’t think many men would be happy about that.

Men also react a little more bluntly and strongly than women. Hence, his comment. He thinks the TTD session is completely unnecessary, and he doesn’t see why you would spend any extra money or time doing it. He doesn’t see the purpose, I guess.

He was being a little harsh with his first comment– probably just an off day– but when he saw you writing about it, it probably pushed him over the edge.

I wouldn’t worry about it, though.

Post # 9
Member
2765 posts
Sugar bee

I think most guys are confused by the whole concept of TTD sessions… maybe he put it a bit harshly, but to be honest – I found the entire wedding planning process difficult as a guy!

Just to give you an idea for how big the disconnect is: I don’t really understand why wearing a fancy white wedding dress is necessary.  I’d have been completely happy if I had worn a nice suit and my bride wore a dress that she liked (from her existing wardrobe).

So take that utterly male perspective and add a modern wedding, and that’s how you get complete bewilderment at something like a TTD!

Post # 10
Member
461 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I get that he could be mad about you writing it down, but still, (1) it’s not like anyone he knows is going to see it and recognize hime (I’m assuming here that you don’t give your username to family/friends), and (2) the cursing you out is not the way to handle it.  I know if a woman came on WB and said she cursed out her husband/fiance/SO we would probably tell her that’s not how to handle things, same thing goes for a man.

Post # 11
Member
106 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I’m sorry. Frown I totally know how you feel when your Fiance says something that makes you go “WHOA, did you seriously just say that to me?!?”

It stings and it’s not cool and it’s not always easy to just get over and forget about right away. I don’t have much advice–I’m sure other bees have great advice–just wanted you to know I understand.

Post # 12
Member
406 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Ouch. 

Just to be clear, if your fiance revisits the comments-  everybody says something they shouldn’t every now and then.  With that said, the last big fight my husband and I had was over a similar issue, ie. what he considers a waste of money.  Now, when this happens (rarely now)  he is in the doghouse bigtime.  It took over 20 years for him to understand how much he DOESN’T want to be in the doghouse with me… so he’s definitely not as snarky as he was when we were newlyweds.

Last night after dinner at his fav restaurant, I asked him to stop at a new wiine bar in town because I’d never been there and thought it would be a fun addon to our date.  He moaned and groaned about how he didn’t want to go in and he’d wait for me in the car.  Well, the whole point was to go in together and do something different (he likes his comfort zone).  I told him he could either buy me a $10 glass of wine then, or I would find a way to make up the difference next week in California, when I visit with my sister-in-law.  I say it sweetly… and he gets it.  But I don’t tell him everything I plan anymore.  I don’t hide things from him, but it’s good to know how to pick your fights. I was in a thrift/resale shop the other day and saw a gazillion used wedding dresses that would be great for a trashing.  Very inexpensive… probably less than a decent bottle of champage.

BTW- he liked the place, and the owner came out and gave us a tour of the party rooms in back.  Handy stuff to know for a Future Mother-In-Law.

Post # 13
Member
2867 posts
Sugar bee

Cursing someone out is not healthy.  He needs to control his anger because it can escalate.

 

Btw, all the TTD I’ve seen seemed less than appealing…not at all elegant.  However, if you AND your fiance like that idea, go for it!

Post # 14
Member
2054 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I think that he may be overwhelmed by the whole planning experience and the ‘trash the dress” thing is just an aspect of the wedding that may be unnecessary in his eyes. I dont think he has anger issues…I think he just had a momentary  slip up stemmed from frustration. I know I have those sometimes…and so does Teddy…he may cool down and apoligize for saying that later…if he doesnt then maybe you should talk about it and tell him why you want to do it and how hurtful his comment was.

Post # 15
Member
345 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

oh, honey i’m sorry! I’d cut his jewels off. lol

i would try to calmly ask what is going on later after uve both calmed down…sounds like there may be more to it than a TTD session…maybe hes stressed? work or money problems?

my fiancee finds my idea of buying a crap dress for a TTD session unnecessary, but under no circumstances would he say those words to me…

Hope this blows over…but def. something that needs to be addressed and openly talked about

hugs from SC

Post # 16
Member
345 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

by the way…this is exactly the kind of stupid thing my brother would say to his girlfriend. some guys just arent aces at the comminication. tell him to keep his panties on about his Xbox

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