(Closed) He keeps cancelling our plans to look at rings and plan the wedding

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 151
Member
454 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

I knew who had written this as soon as I saw the subject.

 

Sit him down.  Ask him if he has a specific timeline to propose and to get married.

If so, ask him what it is.<br /><br />If he doesn’t have a specific timeframe for both or if the timeframe is not what you like, you have one of two choices:  Go with his or leave the relationship.  Let him know that you need a timeline and a different timeline and if you cannot come to an agreement there’s nothing you can do.

Post # 152
Member
10222 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

Good heavens, the Bees are generous with their time.  They keep trying to get you to see reality, OP.  The man does not want to marry you.  It’s unfortunate for you, but it’s reality.

 

Post # 153
Member
1017 posts
Bumble bee

You will be posting the same thing 3 years from now….

Post # 154
Member
84 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I’m sorry to say this, but it sounds like the guy doesn’t want to get married and he doesn’t want to marry you.  The fact that you have to constantly bug him and remind him to go look at rings is only proof that marrying you is not a priority right now.  Why on earth would you want to constantly nag and remind him that he was supposed to go ring shopping with you anyway?  That would eat away at my self-esteem and pride and make me feel like sh*t.  Do you really want to be with someone who doesn’t value you?  He chooses surfing and hanging out with his friends over you and marriage.  What more clues/signs/warning do you need?

I think it’s obvious that you should leave him.  It’s obvious he doesn’t want to marry you.  You and him are on different pages.  But if you decide to stay with him, then that is your own decision and you need to accept the consequences.  You cannot bother him about the ring, making plans, getting married and etc. because he is already showing you that he doesn’t care for that.  Right now you are putting yourself in this miserable situation by staying with him when he is consistently not giving what you want.  You need to take the matters into your own hands now.  Either stay and accept him not wanting to get married or leave and find someone who wants to marry you.

Post # 155
Member
2452 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Anyone know how old OP is? She sounds extreeeeeeemely young and immature, in which case I could have some sympathy and understand not wanting to break it off even though ALL SIGNS POINT TO IT. Young and dumb and clinging to a first love or something. 

However, OP, if you are over the age of say 22 I’d recommend some long-hard self reflection at this point. Your posts are outta control.

Post # 156
Member
138 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

Sunflower–girl:  you don’t know that, and it’s sad that you are saying this to her. Overposting or not why push her when everyone else is already doing it too. Geez

Post # 157
Member
1017 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
giley:  He doesn’t want to marry her.  He tells her thngs to keep this stupid cycle going.  If she stays, she will not be married in three years she will still be posting about it and being miserable.  

What is more sad than me giving her a dose of reality is OP wasting her time thinking he is going to change.  

Post # 158
Member
73 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I haven’t looked through all the comments but I am hoping that after I leave this comment I will see if any progress has been made. Here’s my opinion first:

Leave his a$$. I would not tolerate a man who decided to bring up something so important so casually and then blow it off. This is a big deal. Marriage is not a joke, it’s not a “oh I forgot about it” kind of deal. I’m assuming you two are sexually involved? Maybe he’s hoping to get more out of the relationship by mentioning marriage? He doesn’t seem supportive of you or happy about spending his *life* with you. You’ve only spent 2.5 ish years with him? Good. Don’t make a mistake and wait longer. I wasted 4 years of my life on a jerk like this and the best decision I ever made was leaving him to find my now DH who treats me RIGHT. Good luck girl I will be praying for you and your happiness!!

Post # 159
Member
73 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

After looking through the posts, all I can say is:

1) Some of the “ladies” on this site are complete jerks who apparently don’t know that they don’t have to keep reading if they don’t want to and don’t have to reply to anything.

2) If this is a reoccuring theme I think you know what needs to be done.

You know when you know. Good luck.

The topic ‘He keeps cancelling our plans to look at rings and plan the wedding’ is closed to new replies.

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