- 3 years ago
Im on the edge of flipping out a bit and I need your advice. I’m right now alone at home, my boyfriend (31) is visiting his family.
I often use his computer (mine is very old and slow), and he allows me to do so, even suggested I should do it. I was googling some stuff for work and I ALWAYS look at the suggestions. Well, today I was googling and suddenly the suggestion ‘Scotland cell phone code appeared, like as a suggestion that someone on this computer already searched. I directly got suspicious and checked when he googled that- He googled it 5 days ago. Why I got suspicious? Well, we obviously don’t live in Scotland and I know a 100% that there is only one person in the Scotland he knows- A girl he had an affair with while we were broken up more than 1.5 years ago. To keep things short: We mutually broke up after dating for almost a year, because we didn’t figure out a way to communicate wih each other. The break up was very spontaneous and after the breakup I left for Europe for two months. After those two months we got back together and haven’t split ever since.
So no, he didn’t cheat on me, but he had this affair for almost two months with that girl from Scotland, who lived here for a few months to work. I know about this ot because he told me; but a friend of mine saw them together while we were broken up and I later asked him about it and he told me the truth. I didn’t get angry or anything, after all we were broken up and he could do whatever he wants. By the way, she left our country around two months after him and I got back together. I’m 99% sure he didn’t keep meeting her when we got bck together because I trust him and because we literally were together all the time when we didn’t work.
BUT, a few months later, I was using his computer when a little window opened in the right corner, he received an email from that girl (I directly reconized her name). His email account is always opened and I SWEAR I have never checked it before. But when I saw her name, I had to click. The email was in a very friendly tone, telling him about her life and sending him pics, nothing lovey-dovey, just like an email from a friend to another, BUT since I know they hooked up I didn’t find it funny at all. I then checked if he had more emails of this girl- I found around 5 more emails from her t him, and he also sent her emails. Again, nothing flirty, always like friends, but always with pictures etc. (not pictures of themselves, but travel pics etc.). I didnt tell him about it at that time (maybe I should have), but it bugged me a LOT.
Ever since that, I sometimes searched for emails from this girl (without ever looking at other emails). Maybe that was wrong, but I felt like I had to. The last email I found was from summer last year. As I said, in total he wrote maybe 5 to her and she 5 to him. I should mention here that every email to her were maybe 5-10 sentences, without mentioning me even once! No ‘My girlfriend and I..’ etc I’m sure she doesn’t even know about me. After that nothing, til around a month ago. I was on his computer when again this damn little window in the corner opened- Her name. I read the email after he opened it later. She was being friendly again and asked him about his recent move to another city, so I KNEW he definitely talked to her in the past two months, because that was when we moved. I assume he has her Whatsapp or so as well. I couldn’t see i he answered to that email or not, but it pissed me off so much.
Still I decided to keep quiet, I dunno why. But this morning I saw that he googled the Scottish cell phone quote and now I’m kinda losing it! Why the hell is he still contacting this girl and doesn’t even tell me about it? She lives around 10 flight hours from here, so they don’t even see each other (and in the emails they never talked about meeting or so). Am I crazy that I find this totally inappropriate? I’m almost sure that if I confront him he will just get angy and accuse me of snooping and not trustimg him and saying that she’s just a friend. But he has many friends here, why would he need to be friends with a girl he had an affair with more than 1.5 years ago who doesn’t even live here anymore? That doesn’t make any sense to me. I mean maybe they talk only every two months or so, but that’s still too much IMO. I’m so angry that I’m really considering to throw everything in his face when he gets home and telling him that I will break up if he ever contacts her again. Am I crazy?
Thanks for any advice.
- This topic was modified 2 years, 7 months ago by emeraldine.