(Closed) He keeps putting it off…….

posted 11 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
8943 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Patience!  Honestly, I never think anyone is going to get engaged on Christmas, V-day or the other common holidays because it is so cliche.  Most guys want you to be suprised and think that you are thinking about it.  I would keep quiet about it and let him do it.  I do understand him being wary of getting engaged right now since you are both unemployed and need to focus on getting your family back on track money-wise and not on a wedding.

Post # 4
342 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Awh don’t worry!  If he has the ring I am sure it is coming very soon!  Maybe he is going to do it for your bday!  I wouldn’t say anything until after your bday so just incase he is planning a bday engagement you dont ruin it!  I am sure it is coming soon:)  Try not to stress!  I know it’s hard but it is def on its way!

Post # 5
8375 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

It sounds like he just feels like it’s not a good time to do it since you both are not working. You can’t make him propose…obviously there are some huge financial things going on. It’s hard enough with one person unemployed, let alone both of you! He’s probably stressing about how the bills will get paid….

Post # 6
351 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Sounds a lot like my guy.  My hubby bought my engagement ring in December and then didn’t propose until the following October!!  I was going CRAZY waiting for it.  I think eventually I thought I was crazy and only imagined him buying the ring, lol!  I finally gave up on waiting for it because obviously he was going to do it in his own time and me putting pressure on him was just making him less willing.  Once I let go and stopped stressing, he proposed!

Post # 7
68 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

That’s a tough situation. He does have the weight of the world on his shoulders right now. Maybe he thinks if he propose, the wedding planning will soon follow. Right now isn’t a good time. Men are practical thinkers. If you were to get engaged now, you would probably have to wait a while before discussing wedding plans. Which means you would have to go through another round of “waiting”. You never know he still may do it before your birthday. Hopefully your employment woes will take a turn for the better real soon. Try not to stress about it. It will all work out in the end.

Sidenote: I never understood how a guy could have the ring and not propose for days, weeks, months or years?  That has always amazed me…

Post # 8
417 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Don’t think about it or expect since it’s apparently driving you crazy! As it would to others. When you least expect it, it’ll happen. All the pressure to make it happen could be forcing him to delay it so maybe when you let up and let it believe that you have let it go, he’ll surprise you and propose! 🙂

Post # 9
620 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

@huneebee ummm i 100% agree with your sidenote. that doesn’t make any sense to me. why buy it if you don’t want to do it right away? why  not just buy it when you have a plan to actually propose?

@hahn524 you guys are under a lot of stress right now. i know the waiting stinks, but i think you do need to prepare yourself that it might not happen really soon. now i have to ask you this too..are you SURE he still has the ring? the only reason i ask is because you are both unemployed and obviously financial strains can come from that..

Post # 10
264 posts
Helper bee

blondeebuckeye is wise.


Are you sure you want a proposal he may feel forced into?  I know he bought the ring last year, so he must want to marry you right?  But if he wanted to marry you he would ask?  


Just be sure he’s asking you because he’s ready and he wants to.  Not because he feels pressured.  


All the best, and have a great birthday 🙂

Post # 11
1260 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Not the right time to get engaged? If he didn’t already have the ring, that would make sense. But what’s the sense in putting off making the commitment to get married? That’s all engagement is. That ring ought to be burning a hole in his pocket. Why the cold feet?

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