Post # 62
I am back from a long self-imposed day off work. I returned his anniversary gift, got my movies back from his mother (I couldn’t bring myself to go inside, so my mom went for me), and then went to visit the school that’s an hour and a half away. For anyone who’s wondering, the schools I’m deciding between are Utah State University and Northern Arizona University. I’m getting a master’s in English. I liked USU, especially because its closer, but NAU has a better offer for me…thankfully, I emailed the person offering the graduate instructorship and she gave me another week to decide. Grad school is definitely still in the plans–I just have to reorient myself. I was looking at places for the two of us on both of our incomes, now I need to look for myself and my stipend instead. But I will go. No matter how heartbroken I am, this has been my plan for a year. I’ve worked for it, I’ve earned it, and I’m going…I just need to decide which one.
Thankfully, I hadn’t really started buying much yet. Almost everything I have can be returned for money or store credit (and it’s stores I’d shop at otherwise). My dress is the only issue. It’s colored, so my mom suggested hemming it down to tea length and wearing it as a cocktail dress. She also suggested saving it for when I get engaged to the not-douchebag-of-the-universe, but I don’t kow if I want my wedding dress to have that memory.
I also reached out to some of my friends–not many, but some–and told them about it. I still need to tell my sister. I don’t want her to be upset for me.
Again, thank you for the outpouring of responses. I have read every single one, and they have buoyed me up to be able to function today and tomorrow (though I still think I’ll be calling in sick). It is hopeful to hear stories of those that had something similar happen and ended up better because of it. I feel very loved, and like I am worth much more to people than I thought–and I think that’s what I need right now. He certainly didn’t seem to provide that for me.
Post # 63
I just want to say that you are SO STRONG! You deserve so much better, and your true prince charming is out there fior you!
As for our dress, why not sell it here on the bee? Tons of girls go for a colored dress look. You never know 🙂
Post # 64
You Go Girl!!!! One day at at time- one moment at a time…
Remember that you are not alone- continue to lean on your friends and family (and Bees) for support.
The best thing you can do right now is LOVE yourself and continue to live your LIFE WELL!
(What a dummy he is… you are one AMAZING PERSON!)
Post # 65
Wow, I am so sorry. He is such a coward!!!! Reading your post made me angry at him for you. You are a strong woman. You deserve better than what he’s done. Keep your chin up. I bet the universe has bigger and better plans for you.
Post # 66
I am incredibily sorry for what you are going through. 🙁 That just brought me to tears. As I agree with the other bees, you did you a really big favor in the long run. He isn’t even a man….he is acting like a childish and thoughtless little boy.
I’m so sorry hunny. (HUGS)
Post # 67
@kissme_cait: If you end of going to NAU, I have a friend there. Maybe I could put you in touch….
Post # 68
@kissme_cait: Bravo for being so strong and pulling through this! That coward obviously didn’t deserve you to being with! I wish you the best of luck with your schooling!
Post # 69
I don’t know anything about their programs, but I’d assume they are comparable if you are so undecided… I think you’ll just have to re-visit both schools and figure out which one feels right, both the school and the area where you’d live.
I’m glad you were able to get some of that stuff done today, Personally, I think you either need to get the dress altered into a cocktail length or similar, or sell it. Don’t keep it for your future wedding.. I just don’t think you’d be able to get past the memories.
Post # 70
I know that so many have responded, but I wanted to echo their thoughts. I am so sorry for what has happened. I can’t imagine being in your shoes. That is so incredibly difficult… I got broken up with once in an email in the past, but it was a juvenile relationship, not seven weeks away from marriage. The only thing that I can say is that it is better that it has happened now, rather than seven weeks after marriage. But he should have done it sooner if he felt that way, and especially NOT did it in an email. Hopefully he will talk to you when he gets back or something to at least give you some closure or something
I am glad that you are still planning to go to graduate school! I will be praying for you, you will get through this, don’t let him break you. You have to mourn the loss, but I pray that you will only come out of this experience stronger 🙂
Post # 71
I wanted to check in on you today.I am proud if you for getting out and getting stuff done.A colored dress might be easier to sale than a wadding dress.Idk what color it is,but you could market it as a prom dress.I wouldn’t keep it.Keep thinking positive thoughts.Some days will be harder than others,but you will survive. Sending hugs from California 🙂
Post # 72
I am sorry this is happening to you.
Post # 73
You are so strong! My girl friend lived in AZ for a few years for work. She loved it there. Maybe you could donate your dress to one of those prom dresses for poor girl things. Or wedding gowns for breast cancer. Tax write off! Or ebay it.
Post # 74
I LOVE your dress. What size is it? You should post on here. I have my wedding dress…but I know lots don’t.
Post # 75
Well good news, you don’t have to marry a coward. No man would walk away like that.
Take it one day at a time!
Things will get better!
Post # 76
I wish that I could give you the BIGGEST hug and then give him the strongest kick in the ba*ls. I am SO sorry that you are going through this. I wish I could give you some advice but honestly, having never gone through it – I don’t feel equipped.
What I will say is that you deserve to have your friends and family surrounding you right now. Even if you choose one person, that you know you can turn to, do it. You shouldn’t have to bear this burden solo. You need love and compassion. You deserve that.
It’s understandable to feel torn in half. I can’t comment on your ex because I don’t know him. He could’ve been hit with cold feet or he could just be so undeserving of you. Either way, it’s not right. I am sorry.
Keep you chin up. When you are pissed, let yourself be pissed. When you are emotional, let yourself be that too. Take it easy on yourself.