Keep venting and ranting…you MUST do these steps in order to heal…is part of the grieving process. But I promise you, after a few hours, you’ll flip to…”Oh what I wouldn’t give to be in his arms and walking down the isle to marry him!
Then later, you’ll wonder if this is just a dream…pinch yourself, then realize its real and he’s gone and did you wrong.
You’ve got so many here supporting you and I’m sure you’re beyond wishing you were doing the same as many of the members here…planning their big day or selling their goodies making way for bigger homes…so i love with their new husband while your “man” doesn’t have the cajonies enough to talk to you. Maybe is because he doesn’t want to see you cry, or hear you beg or make him feel more guilty.
Driving by his place or making excuses to see him by taking things over to him is just extending your pain. He does NOT want to see or hear from you period! YES…thats incredibly painful and I’m sorry you’re hurting. You have every right to be angry BUT…the guy just doesn’t want to marry you! And you MUST find a way to move on and accept this….but I agree, you must go thru a grieving process.
The years you had together is NOT a waste of time…it was time spent growing up and learning about life. You must put all this into perscpective….what if these last 5 yrs you’ spent battling a major illness ALONE!…or spent 40 yrs being married to the best man on earth and then having to watch him suffer with terminal illness, while you yourself battled health issues as well.
Count your blessings! You have SOOOO much to be thankful for…you really do! I suggest you make a list of all the good things you have to be grateful for…things like good health, sound mind, can see to drive…have a vehicle…money for gas, an education…parents and family who love you.
This is NOT the last man on earth and there are plenty of good men still out there…I promise you this…in a few months…thats if you haven’t gone back to “mr chickenshit”…you will be dating and enjoying new relationships and maybe you’ll meet Mr Right who will give you all that you dreamt of while dating Mr CS!
Please read my story about Bob…OMG!…I am soooo thankful he “let me go”…because I wouldn’t want my life any other way as it is now…and certainly living in a cheap apartement instead of having so much like our beautiful home out in the country, 2 brand new luxuary cars in our driveway and a very nice RV…all paid for! I love my husband Larry…we just celebrated our 39th wedding anny…but life has been filled with bitter disappointments, a lot of pain and suffering, heartaches and too many trials to mention here….but this has taught me to be who I am now and to have compassion and love and caring for those who are less fortunate than we are. Getting out and helping others is the BEST way to get over heartaches and disappontments as it shows us that WE are NOT the only person on earth and teaches us to be thankful for all the blessings we do have!
As far as work…ask your doctor to give you a perscritoion/letter to take some time off from work…their pressuring you is unfair as you are dealing with a life crisis and need time off to deal with your feelings!
Their lack of planning does not make it YOUR emergncy! Don’t allow them to bully you or belittle you for not coming into work after their offering you few days off! There are laws to protect employee’s who are suffering crisis/family issues and they need to back off! Depending on where you live, there’s state and federal agengencies who help protect employee’s against bullying employers…but I hope they’re not as bad as you’re worried about.
STOP torturing yourself by making excuses as to why you need to take his items back! If he wants the stuff bad enough, then HE will contact you…if not, then put it into a donation box after giving him a letter of intent to dispose of his personal property!…do NOT use his stuff as HOOKS…to force him into facing you because he does NOT wish to see or talk to you…this is most clear, but you cannot accept this just yet.
I know I’m sounding harsh here and I’m sorry, But I know what I’m saying is true as I’m much MUCH older than you! I’m 60! and I’ve been down this road and have a lifetime of experiences with so much! But this doesn’t mean I’m insensitive, as my heart goes out to you. I’m just offering my advice and wishing you the best way to heal, grieve and move forward as you have your life ahead of you and one day you will look back and say…That old lady sure knew what she was saying and I’m so thankful I took her seasoned advice as I’m so happy now that I’ve found a real man who isn’t a chickenshit immature male!
Blessings to you and please keep us updated!