(Closed) He lied to me and has now moved on. I'm devastated.

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 31
Member
123 posts
Blushing bee

physicians want to be around other wealthy people so you dont sipen off their money unless it someone they met in high school or earlier and they grew up with the person. i find your story hard to believe. i am not saying you lied. did he ever say he loved you? a man should always love a woman a little more, than a woman loves him. did you go into this relationship with shaded colored roses. if you are in your forties than you should have known the deal and realize from the jump it was a booty call. he just had a good time.

Post # 34
Member
123 posts
Blushing bee

You are lying to yourself, again and he lied to you again. he wants children. i bet he is telling the new woman he wants children. he is pushing fifty pretty hard and does not want to go in that nursing home, a child would prevent that. you dont take criticism very well, do you or rejection? Leave that man alone, he clearly has said he does not want you.

Post # 36
Member
123 posts
Blushing bee

I do have compassion for you. He sees you as a side piece. You said in your own words you have grown children, I think around nineteen or twenty those children are old enough to be parents. That man is not yet even a father, he would be going into a ready made family. some men naot all dont want to raise their own children let alone someone elses children and you have four. are you serious?

Post # 37
Member
2969 posts
Sugar bee

2good:  Not kind.  Nor necessarily accurate.  You can’t lump all men or all wealthy people together. 

Post # 38
Member
2509 posts
Sugar bee

twu123:  several of you have accused me of lying because I have had tragic things in my life.

No one accused you of lying because of the tragic things that have happened. People accused you of lying when 2 or 3 different stories were coming from the same username. It’s not unreasonable

Post # 39
Member
2969 posts
Sugar bee

twu123:  i’ve looked at your previous posts.  You really have had lots of support and extended messages from people over the past few months.  Lots of positive and helpful advice.  I just think that we know and you know that you have reached the end of the road with this man if you wish to maintain your self respect.  He’s a commitment phobe and a liar and he makes sure that you have to fit in with his wishes and not the other way around.  He doesn’t like you asking questions and he is mean with money (in the sense that he only wants to spend it on his projects).  He tends to more attentive when he thinks that he is going to lose you and less attentive when you are more settled.  The jerk. 

Also, if you take over someone else’s username and password then people will suspect you of being a fraud because the messages and stories will be different.  I don’t think you are a fraud by the way but I do know that some people on this site are frauds and it is the inconsistencies in their stories that in the end give them away.

I think that it is time to move on.  You might like to have a look around the site and give helpful and supportive advice to other people, some of whom are in a much worse position than you or I are in.   It isn’t a one way street and this is something that you haven’t yet done.  You’ve found this site (mostly) helpful and now it is time to give something back.

I’m sorry that the relationship has ended badly but the positive thing is that you are more likely to meet someone who will love you for yourself and treat you in a much better way. 

It is time to book yourself a holiday and meet up with friends. Join some clubs.  Take up a new hobby.  Don’t look back.  Don’t contact.  De-friend him on Facebook.  Change your phone number and email address.  Buy yourself some new clothes and have a new haircut.  Shallow ideas, I know, but symbolic of a new start.

Good luck.

Post # 40
Member
719 posts
Busy bee

Yes, I remember your story.  Honestly, this guy has no idea what he wants and is certainly not ready for a serious relationship.  You are witnessing honeymoon phase with someone else and my bet, like the business manager said, is that it will quickly fade and he will move on again.  Just don’t take him back or you risk wasting more of your own time if a committed relationship is what you want.

Post # 41
Member
1221 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

twu123:  I’m just baffled that you are still considering giving your ex husband another chance. Neither of these guys is right for you, please stay single for a while and don’t settle for the same toxic relationships you were in before. Learn from these experiences.

I remember your last post on this ex boyfriend and I knew then that he was just stringing you along without any real intention of committing to you. He has moved on, you need to do the same. Stop asking his business manager about the details of his romantic life, that’s only making it worse. Move on–and I don’t mean back to your ex husband!

Post # 43
Member
595 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

twu123:  the best advice I can give you, is stop dating. At least for a while. You said yourself, you’ve been with someone(s) since you were a teenager. Just relax. Be with yourself, and get to know you. Take some classes, find a hobby, read a few books. Be completely about YOU for a change.

And, when you’re finally comfortable with the real you, the right man will come out of nowhere like a high speed train. 

One more thing, YOU’RE NOT OLD!

Post # 44
Member
1450 posts
Bumble bee

I am truly sorry for all of your pain.  Woman to woman, seeing that you have a grown daughter who is also considering/considered marriage, here’s a question to ask yourself:   Would you want your daughter to date a man like your ex (not exDH), and be so attached to a man who betrayed her trust and broke her heart after using her while he was in pain?    I don’t know about you but my answer would be a resounding hell no.

I would recommend that you stop yourself from thinking too much about the good times you had with him.  Even women who are severely abused cling onto the “honeymoon lovey dovey” times they had with their man before the violence began, and believe that their men aren’t the monsters they behave as.  The reality is, you are clinging onto a man and relationship that is over.  He can promise you the moon till he’s blue in the face, but his actions do not back this up.  If anything it shows that he is very self-centered person who does not consider how his behavior affects those who love him.  I understand that he had serious health issues and it can change a person.  But that does not matter.  This man professed his love to you in the beginning, but then decided to change his mind (while telling you something different) and has chosen to move on and be with & have sex with other women.

You deserve much more than this.  You deserve much more than to cry over this man’s betrayal and be depressed about life.  You are more worthwhile than any man.  If I were you, I would instead focus on doing whatever it takes to make me a better more loving partner for my future  Mr. Right, and not shed anymore tears or waste my emotions on a man who was stupid enough to lose someone like you.

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