(Closed) He likes "chunky" girls……

posted 7 years ago in Full Figured
Post # 16
Member
4697 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

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applecat:  You said it a lot nicer than I could’ve. How insensitive.

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habibti:  While your Fiance may like you ‘chunky’, I’m very certain he doesn’t like you unhealthy and at risk for physical illnesses. Perhaps pointing out the risks of being the weight you are will help him understand that losing weight to be happier and healthier isn’t such a bad idea. Stop telling him you want to lose a few pounds, because he clearly doesn’t like it, just start to make small steps to becoming healthier. He’ll likely notice the change in overall happiness and not be too concerned about you becoming thinner.

Post # 17
Member
3467 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Aww, OP, I can kind of relate. I’ve gained at least a dress size since I met my husband and he LOVES it. I tried to go on a diet when I first noticed my clothes getting a little snug and he told me straight up that I hadn’t gained any weight as far as he could tell and I look beautiful and stop worrying. He means well but he’s a hard-core enabler. And being that he does 90% of the cooking, it felt like a huge task to get him to buy into my weight loss. Like you, I’ve lost a large amount of weight in the past so it can feel like a real setback to be even a couple of pounds outside your ideal zone. When he sees pics of me from when I was significantly larger (50 pounds!) his reaction is always the same “so you really think you’ve lost weight since then? I don’t see it, but if you say so…” Sir, a whole 2nd grader is missing from my frame and you don’t see it? The benefit there, though, is that I assume when I do lose weight and go back to the size I was when we met (or perhaps a bit below) he also won’t notice? 

I hope you feel better soon. I’m sorry to hear that you’re short of breath and whatnot. 

P.S. (directed at no one in particular) I find it very interesting that in a thread yesterday where a Bee questioned whether she should lose weight or not almost everybody commented that there’s no such thing as a healthy fat person and that her being overweight was a surefire sign that she was unhealthy in general…but people are commenting that the OP’s boyfriend being thin does not necessary mean he’s healthy. Which is it? 

Post # 18
Member
1475 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

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Overjoyed: That’s not really an “either/or” kind of question, is it? Someone who’s thin could still have a whole host of nutritional issues, including vitamin deficiencies, abnormal blood sugar, high blood pressure or cholesterol…the list goes on. I’m not sure I agree with the whole “no healthy fat person” thing because I’m not a medical professional so who am I to judge? But surely both the large and the small can have fair shares of health problems stemming from their diet.

I personally have known many thin people (men and women) who ate nothing but utter garbage. They were probably intrinsically unhealthy but just happened to have high metabolisms.

Post # 19
Member
3467 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

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applecat:  your point is very well taken. And I suspect we’re on the same page because I consider a person’s weight to be just one among a myriad of factors that may (or very well may not) reflect a person’s overall health.  I was pointing out the inconsistency in a someone feeling comfortable just looking at an overweight person and concluding their health status knowing nothing else about them erstwhile acknowledging the folly in making health assumptions about thin people based solely on their weight. 

I too have known people across the spectrum, even with good habits and whatnot. I know a thin woman who eats rabbit food, but has two different types of cancer and cholesterol through the roof. I also know a clinically obese woman who just ran a marathon (even though people take one look at her and assume she must be unhealthy and out of shape). If the roles were reversed, and it was the fat lady with all the health problems, it seems to me that most people would chalk it up to her weight. But I digress. I don’t mean to thread-jack. 

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