(Closed) He needs a Break

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
690 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I am so sorry. If it is a break, make it a clean break, so it can heal cleanly, too. Don’t see or talk to him. If he doesn’t realize what he’s missing, then in time you will heal, start to feel like yourself again, and find someone who truly loves and appreciates you, as you deserve. I’m sorry he hurt you.

Post # 4
Member
7777 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I’m so sorry. I know how much it hurts. I agree with Emerald. Make it a clean break. No contact. It’s less painful that way if it doesn’t work out and if it does, then it will make him realize what he’s missing. You don’tr know that he isn’t sad about it too. You cant say that for sure. Maybe he feels like he needs some time to himself to figure out whats inside his own head.

Fiance and I took a break a couple years ago. There were major issues involved that I dont want to discuss, but in then end I broke it off with him because I had to. We were apart for about 3-4 weeks and then we got back together. It wasn’t too long after that we were engaged.

 

Post # 5
Member
467 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

i am so sorry that he was so blunt about it 🙁

my Fiance and i took a break a few months into our relationship – and i did what emeraldr suggested – completely clean breaked – he explained though when discussing it that he needed time to sort out his feelings because he felt that we were getting very serious very quickly, and he was convinced that he was not the marrying/relationship kind

our break lasted approximately 3 months

fastforward 5 years, and im glad that it happened – i dont think that our relationship would have lasted without it, frankly – we needed that time to make sure what we both really wanted and the make the decision to be together

all-in-all, this may not be “the end” – and realize, too, that you make the decisions as well – if this “break” leads you to reevaluate whether you want to be with him, and you decide against it, then go with that

i am so sorry that he hurt you and send hugs your way

Post # 6
Member
256 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I have to agree with others when they say to make it a clean break. However, I would ait him down one last time and have one conversation with him in order for him to explain what he means by break, what his intentions are, how he is feeling, etc since you don’t seem to know. I know I would want some answers before I could move on (but that may just be me). You should also take that opportunity to tell him how you feel and to let him know that you don’t intend on speaking to him after this. Lay down your rules so he doesn’t keep interfering with your healing process. Good Luck and lot of ((((((HUGS))))))

Post # 7
Member
2703 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

((HUGGSS)) i’m so sorry that you are hurting right now and that there’s nothing anyone can say to make this feeling go away for you. but you’ve got to take control of what you can. i know it’s the worst thing you could’ve heard him say, but make sure you figure out what you need and want during this time. don’t give in and don’t let him control your actions. only you can give him that and he doesn’t want it nor does he deserve any of you right now.

Post # 8
Member
1602 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

i agree with PP’s.

reduce all contact until he makes the first approach, because 1. you don’t want him to feel like you’re needy if you try and be friends with him, and 2. regardless of how things turn out in the end, you want to know that you were strong, and that you could do it by yourself.

i’m sorry you have to go through this – all the best!

Post # 10
Member
831 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Personally, I don’t believe in “Breaks” in a relationship. You’re either together or your not. It’s not fair to the other person to be hanging on to dear life while waiting for the other person to realize what they’re missing. I’m sorry he hurt you like that, but leave him and like other have said above, make sure it’s a clean break. Don’t give him the idea you’re holding out for him. Move on and allow someone else to love you whole heartedly and cherish you. Good luck to you! *hugs*

Post # 11
Hostess
18637 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I’m sorry.  I think you need to make a clean break and be broken up so that you don’t have a Ross-Rachel thing (‘We were on a break!”).  If he doesn’t want to be in a relationship, then he shouldn’t be in one.  I’m sorry that he wasn’t more delicate about it though.

Post # 12
Member
1641 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

My SO and I “took ab reak” for a couple of months once. Here is my advice:

Give it to him, and FULLY. that means no calls, no emails, nothing. The tighter you hold, the mroe he will pull.

And don’t sit home and feel sorry for yourself- go out ,get a hobby, see friends. It will be good for him to see that you are not sitting home alone- that you aren’t counting on him to “live”.

If it’s meant to be, he’ll be back. If not, you will find someone better!

Post # 13
Member
14183 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

From your post last month, you’ve stated that he was being weird and dodgy when you brought up having a future together and that you’ve only been together 10 months. Is it possible you scared him by bringing up a committment (even if it was only in future) and he’s responding by running away? Or, this is his lame way of actually breaking up with you, seeing as how he was SOOOO insensitive about it?

Post # 14
Member
690 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Good for you, pumpkinbee! In six months, you’ll be out on a hot date and will have forgotten all about him. For now, my prescription would be Haagen Daas and fun nights out with your friends!

Post # 15
Member
536 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

As some other ladies have said lots of couples take breaks!  My Fiance and I took a few breaks and as they say..absence makes the heart grow fonder!  If its meant to be it will be!  Try to take some time out for yourself and realize that you are a good person and if he isnt the one for you at least you found out now instead of when you were married with eight kids!  🙂

 

Good luck!

Post # 16
Member
2318 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

I’m glad you resolved yourself to letting go. Take some time for yourself, cry if you need to. But know that thing happen for a reason and probably something so much better on the otherside of this waiting for you.

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