Post # 1
Asking on behalf of a coworker here. She knows I love coming on here, and I told her I’d get some other opinions for her…Thanks in advance, bees!
Here’s the story:
My coworker ‘Jane’ has been in a relationship with her boyfriend ‘Scott’ for a little over two years now. They have decided to move in together, and are set to sign a lease for a house together. The house they are set to move into is a two bed, one bath with an attached one car garage. Jane and Scott have already agreed that the garage can be his man cave, his own personal little area to set up as he wants. This morning, however, she has come into work very upset after a big fight with her boyfriend. Apparently, he has informed her that he now also wants to set up the second bedroom as “his office.” His reasoning is that he is “just like his dad and he needs to have an office.” Scott works as a cashier for Target and is not in school, nor does he have any plans to start school. There really doesn’t seem to be any pressing reason why he should need to have an office, other than “he’s like his dad.”
Jane, on the other hand, is a talented crafter. She has a little shop on Etsy where she sells some of her handmade items. Their original plan was that Scott could have the garage, and Jane could use the second bedroom to set up her little studio and work on her crafts. Now Scott has informed her that he wants the second bedroom for his office instead, in addition to having the garage as his man cave. He wants Jane to set up her crafting stuff in the living room. It caused a big argument betweem the two of them last night, and now she is torn as to what she should be doing. FWIW, Jane and Scott are planning to split the rent 50/50, so it is just as much her place as it is his.
I have advised her to stand her ground, and that if Scott persists, maybe she should rethink moving in with him. I don’t think there’s any reason why he should have both the garage and the second bedroom as his own private areas, and the idea of him “needing an office” just seems ridiculous to me. However, I am also seeking out other opinions of the situation. Are Scott’s demands reasonable? Any ideas on how they can work this out? No negativity please. Merely asking on behalf of a coworker needing advice. Thanks, bees!
Post # 3
How dumb! I don’t get why any one needs an office unless they work from home or regularly need to access a computer for work or school. I would tell him he gets one or the other, definitely not both, and if he kept insisting I wouldn’t move in with him.
Post # 4
I was thinking they could make it a dual office, with a desk and space in the 2nd bedroom for each of them, but him getting 2 private spaces for himself? onn that reasoning? hell no. pick one. I would NOT want craft stuff in the living room so he can sit in his office doing….whatever it is.
What a jerk, demanding he gets all the space and she gets nothing. I wouldn’t move in with a guy l ike that.
Post # 5
Scott is out of his mind.
Post # 6
Neither of them really need an office, why is it such a big deal to share?
Post # 7
If I were her I wouldn’t be signing a lease with someone as selfish as he is.
Post # 8
No- he does not take both the garage and the room all to himself.
Can the room maybe be split, like have a desk in there, but also could be used as a crafting room?
Post # 9
skier11 : “Scott works as a cashier for Target and is not in school, nor does he have any plans to start school.”
Ha! I literally laughed out loud at that sentence. What does he even plan on DOING in this office of his?
I agree with you. Jane should stand her ground. She has a legit reason to need that extra space and he is already getting the garage. He’s being selfish and dumb. How old is Scott? Doesn’t sound like he’s quite mature enough yet to be living with anyone…
Post # 10
This may sound extreme, but I would be rethinking the relationship as a whole if Scott and I were dating. He sounds like he’s pretty inflexible, entitled and has little regard for the compromise it takes to share a space like a home– all of those reasons would be a no fly zone for me to continue in a romantic relationship with someone so selfish.
Post # 11
I was thinking of course he should get the office! Then I read he is a cashier… he doesn’t need a damn office. That woman better stand her ground. One extra room for the each of them. He gets the garage she gets the craft room.
Post # 12
Why don’t they split the bedroom? He can have a desk and chair in there and the rest of the room and closet is for her crafts and storage? Fiance and I split a spare bedroom as an office. Theres enough room for each of us to have a desk and chair.
Edit: I don’t think she should give in and split it but if he refuses to share, I’d guess he wants the area for private video viewings. Which is not a valid reason at all but might be the truth since he can’t give a good reason otherwise.
Post # 13
What a power-grab move! For a Target cashier… me thinks he has little man syndrome, and having a home “office” would help bolster some of his incredibly low self-esteem. In your friend’s shoes, I would 100% not move in with him. I would also be entirely rethinking the relationship. Because people with low self-esteem will always put themselves first when they think they can get away with it – like this instance shows. How selfish and rude!
Post # 14
Hell no. He does not get a man cave and an office when she gets no private space whatsoever. Especially since she is running an Etsy store whereas he does not even need an office.
This is obviously some sort of power move. He’s being a jerk and if he does not apologize, I’d seriously reconsider moving in with him. I imagine this being the first of many times he pulls something like this.
Post # 15
I wouldn’t sign the lease. The notion that he needs a private office because “he’s just like his dad” made me envision a little boy playing make believe.