He needs a private 'office space' for himself…

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
Post # 32
8869 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

skier11 :  

Are Scott’s demands reasonable? — No. 

Any ideas on how they can work this out? — No.

No negativity please. — What do you mean, like saying Scott’s a dick? Ok then, Scott’s not a dick. (He is though.)

Post # 33
466 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

I fully understand wanting private space, regardless of whether you need it for work or school.  I need private space.  FH needs private space.  What do we do in our private spaces?  We write, we draw, we stare at walls, we doze off.  Sure, I do work and school stuff in my corner.  He does work stuff in his corner.  He’s a writer for real, I just write terrible fanfic and journals, but we like our space and are both extreme introverts, and even if we later share everything we do, we need privacy to first express ourselves.

But needing both spaces for himself, while she has no private spaces at all?  That is not fair, and that’s all there is to it.  If he insists that he needs both a garage space and an indoor finished room space and that is his need, then they need to get a bigger space and he needs to cover the difference in the cost to meet his needs, because he’s requiring more than half the area for private use.  Fair’s fair.

Post # 34
36 posts

Well, our place is similar to your friend and in the same situation. We decided to keep the second bedroom as a guest bedroom and we split the solarium (garage in this case) down the middle. Maybe they could do the same..HOWEVER, my husband and I both have professional full time jobs that always require some work from home, in grad school and a small business.

I don’t really see why he needs an office. He’s not really doing anything that requires an office and since she has an ETSY store to run which generates INCOME, it makes sense for her to take the room. Maybe the office will motivate him to go to school or something, i really dont know. But if I were her, and he cannot share the bedroom, I’d reconsider moving in and really think twice about this relationship. I just can imagine how worse it can get when/if they do move in. 

Post # 36
1060 posts
Bumble bee

He’s a cashier at Target, but needs an office. Ummm OK! I have a home office as I WORK FROM HOME fulltime. The room is split in half. Half of the office is for everyday work, the other side I use as an art studio. She takes the office, Scott can sleep in the garage. 

Post # 37
11612 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

Daisy_Mae :  +1 


Is the garage heated/cooled? If it is,  he’s laying down the law now: things will be his way and he gets all of the resources. 

Your friend would be wise to negoitiate now if she wants to stay with him. If she agrees to this and doesn’t ask for what she needs before they move in together, it will only get worse.

if it’s not heated/cooled sndbthey are in an area where this matters, then they need to share the second bedroom. 

But then why would the garage be his man cave area… 

idk, this argument seems so stupid, it makes me wonder about both of them and if they are ready for this. 


Post # 38
627 posts
Busy bee

I don’t get it. The person who needs the office should get the office. Or if you both need one, you can share. We share and there’s 0 drama ever.

Scott’s claim that he should get both the garage and second bedroom while she crafts in the living room are red flags to me.

Post # 39
390 posts
Helper bee

I would give him the 2nd bedroom as his “office” and Jane should take the garage as her space to create.

He doesn’t need an office + garage and she needs more room so she can do her craft.

Post # 40
161 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

squirrelyone :  indeed. Couldn’t have said it better. 


I was going to say… Scott is a wazzock. If he wants an office to play in, Jane should tell him they need a bigger place and he’s picking up the excess rent with his executive office Target wages 🙄

Post # 41
6447 posts
Bee Keeper

zzar45 :  Maybe because she does Etsy crafts??  I would want an office instead of using the room.

skier11 :  

Your advice is sound.

Scott sounds very selfish. He gets the garage and the office??

Post # 42
1558 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

skier11 :  Agree with you Bee. She should absolutely stand her ground and not give in. If he refuses and wants both spaces for himself, she should reocnsider moving in with him. Honestly, I wouldn’t want to live with him. He sounds like a big baby from the very short description you provided :x.

Post # 43
381 posts
Helper bee

Tell Scott stop playin’ for real.

Post # 44
5882 posts
Bee Keeper

Not putting Scott down for working at Target, it’s honest work even if not terribly well paying. But what I find very unsettling is Scott’s outdated, patriarchal view of relationships, it’s not merely selfish in my opinion, but smacks of an I’m the man, I’m king of my castle, my p.o.v. outweigh’s the woman’s p.o.v. mindset. Wouldn’t be surprised if he feels he should have dibs on extra space ’cause  the kitchen ‘is hers’.

Post # 45
3686 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Scott sounds like a douche, and I don’t think your friend should move in with him.  A dude who works as a cashier at Target doesn’t need a frigging office just because his daddy has one.  

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