(Closed) He needs a private 'office space' for himself…

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 106
962 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

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skier11 :  Either she gets the 2nd bedroom or they rent a 3bedroom house. He is being greedy.

Post # 107
62 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2019

Let Jane know how much you’re worrying for her. What you said definitely sounds right – that she might trying to be nice to him just so that he doesn’t leave her.. but frankly this situation sounds ridiculous. She’s getting completely pushed over! :((

Post # 108
864 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

We teach people how to treat us.  At this point, this is just as much Jane’s fault as it is his.  She just rolled over and let him do what he wants.  She could stand up for herself, or not move in with him, or break up and go find a grown man who doesn’t check out at Target.  But she is choosing to do none of those things.  

So have fun Jane!

Post # 109
10543 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

Damnit Jane, get your act together!

Post # 110
874 posts
Busy bee

I’m going to go tell my DH that he needs to clean everything out of his wood shop so that I can use it for a music room for my piano, and clear his office out for my pottery area.  I don’t actually play the piano or sculpt pottery, but my mother played and I saw the movie Ghost once. 

If she already has a place to live, I don’t actually see the benefit of moving in with this guy?  It sounds like she has more space that is designated truly hers where she is now. And that he isn’t making space for her at all. I don’t know that I’d pay half the rent for what she’s getting.  She can go sleep in his bed, use his kitchen and shower, and watch tv in his living room for FREE right now. I respect compromise and am sympathetic to couples needing their own personal spaces for emotional health – but it sounds like neither of these are happening. At least not for her.

Post # 111
733 posts
Busy bee

no way in heck would I ever agree to this. Sounds like he’s trying to push her out is my thought.

Post # 112
573 posts
Busy bee

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skier11 :  I almost wonder if he is bringing this up because he wants the space to himself, or if he knew it would cause the argument. Some people will do stuff like that if they don’t want to be the one to end things. I knew a guy like that. He was highly manipulative and wanted sympathy and material to guilt with. I would say there are some red flags here and your friend should be careful before signing the lease.

Post # 113
2266 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2019 - Chateau Lake Louise

He’s a bully and she’s a pushover. I’m sure he’s perfectly happy. I doubt very much she will be.  It’s absurd that he should feel entitiled to take up so much space and consign her to a corner of the living room. 

The whole “my dad had an office” thing is just creepy. How old is this shmuck?

She should just stay put. Finding a new boyfriend seems like a better bargain.

Post # 114
316 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

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skier11 :  No way. They can share the office or he can have the garage. He cannot have the garage and the office “just because.” My bf and I share a 2 br apartment and the second bedroom is split as a (very cramped mind you) office, since he’s a teacher and until recently I’ve been in school. This is a big red flag!

Post # 115
1003 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

Sounds like Jane needs a new boyfriend who isn’t such a self centered dick 🙂

Post # 116
16 posts

Real talk, WTF is a man cave? I hate this concept of pushing men and their belongings into a corner of the house. Scott sounds like he wants to live seperately, in one house. His self proclaimed entitlement to an office/man cave is indicative of some male privilaged BS. 

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