- 8 years ago
Argh! We have been together 1.5 years and are 31 and 36 years old.
2 weeks ago we had a huge fight about our future. I told him I don’t feel as though I am growing in this relationship because we are in the exact same place as we were a year ago.
We love each other. I am 100% certain he is nuts about me. He said a lot of horrible things to me during this fight that were soooo out of character. He took it all back immediately after. The horrible things were a litany of excuses why he didn’t want to get married, including he is afraid of me breaking my wrist (I am a massage therapist) and I won’t be able to work and we will lose money. He also cited the bad economy as a reason not to get married and have a child. He said we will never be able to afford a child because the value of the dollar is shrinking.
I make about 30K a year working part time, and he makes about 175 K a year. Yes, together we pull in over 200K annually. We don’t live together. We live 70 miles apart and across state lines.
We are finally at a place we can get to the “real” reasons for his delay, and we were able to set aside the “fake” reasons. By fake I mean that very few people purposely remain single forever because of a bad economy.
The “real” reason is that he doesn’t know I am the one yet. At his age, he should know, in my opinion. I knew after about 4-5 months that I wanted him forever. I said fine, but at the 2 year mark I will expect answers. He said by 2 years, he probably still won’t know yet. He said we don’t see each other enough for him to really know. We see each other once a week for an overnight. I wish it were more, but we work opposite schedules. I also have 50% custody of my 4 year old.
Argh, 2 years and he still won’t know? He said he “might” know before then, but I am realizing I can’t count on that.
I have a “walk away” date that’s 7 months away. He knows what I want, and there is no reason to bring it up again.
What bothers me is that I feel very alone on this board, because most of the bees on here know that their BFs want to marry them. I am still auditioning.
If he didn’t treat me so perfectly 99.99999% of the time, this would be a no-brainer.
No question here, I just feel crappy today. I am implementing Mr. Bee’s plan. It helps ME a lot but does nothing for the pace of our relationship.