(Closed) He never proposed.

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
3482 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

Quite honestly, if it’s bothering you this much I would just tell him how you feel.

Post # 4
Member
6248 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 1900

Not to be harsh but it sounds like he got off easy.  You picked out the ring.  Heck, you even bought the ring.  The only thing left is to propose.  Have you explained to him that you aren’t expecting a huge, expensive proposal?  Ask him why he’s still dragging his feet.

Good luck!

Post # 5
Member
313 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

He’s not a jack ass, IMO. I think the person that’s to blame for your own unhappiness here is you. You are the one that settled for that. You are the one that had two more kids after he didn’t marry you once you had the first. I’m confused about why you continue to allow yourself to be unhappy when you have had every reason in the book to demand better.  I am a firm believer that you teach people how to treat you… and it seems like you taught him how to be neglectful to your needs.  Sorry if I come off harsh.

Post # 6
Member
2607 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

Like EsqBailey I don’t understand why you would have continued to have children and live with this man if you feel this way.  I would have put my foot down with the first baby.  I love my husband with all my heart, but if we had gotten pregnant before we were married, we would have gotten married or I would have shown him the door.  My child(ren) and I deserve more than that.  

If you were BOTH okay with living together and not being married, that’s one thing.  But obviously you are not okay with it, so something needs to change.  

Post # 7
Member
1131 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Some men just aren’t the proposing type. I’m waiting now, but I’m afraid my guy is one of those as well. I think one day we will just pick a ring and decide to be engaged. I think you should be happy you love him, he’s marrying you so obviously he loves you too.

Post # 8
Member
3360 posts
Sugar bee

@DeadUtopia: Sweety I totally understand where you are coming from.. I’m not in the same situation, but the proposal means something to me! Its his little moment/effort 😛 If it means that much to you dear, try and talk to him. 

Post # 9
Member
1798 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Try to have a calm conversation with him about why the proposal is important to you. Tell him what you’re basic expectations are and what it means to you for him to do that. Hopefully once he understands that it’s a big deal for you, he will make it special

Post # 10
Member
1477 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Neither of my parents remember thier proposal. I think they had an understanding they were going to get married and then started planning the wedding.

Post # 11
Member
1542 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Men tend to get comfortable with certain situations, if you don’t tell him you want things done a certain way he won’t do it, and if you don’t make very clear you’re unsatisfied (like nagging him about it all the time) about something, they just don’t get it.

Post # 12
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

@EsqBailey:  agree

he sounds like hes not romantic  and considering you have three kids in 6 years im guessing he thought getting married is a done deal

you can talk to him and make him do what you want him to do but how heartfelt will it be if he is forced to do it – im not going to say get over it because your feelings are valid but at some point you will have to either find a compromise or accept the situation and move on.  goodluck

 

 Whenever someone asks how he proposed, I almost want to cry.

oh and for the record, my husband declared he was going to buy me a ring during sex – yeah, not a story for the family but we find it funny

Post # 13
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I generally agree with PPs here. 6 years, 3 kids, you bought your own ring… seems like if this was a priority things could have been done differently a long time ago.

Post # 15
Member
2204 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?

Maybe he thought after 6 years and 3 kids, you had other priorities besides his proposal?

However, if it is important to you, he should have made it a priority.

Not to sound harsh, but at this point, after nagging and all the time that has gone by, would you ever be happy with how he asks you? It sounds like you have very high expectations for a proposal and no matter what, he’s not going to meet those.   

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