(Closed) He 'proposed' 10 days ago- And now doesn't talk about it anymore at all

posted 5 years ago in Proposals
Post # 2
Member
2156 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

sapphire88:  I would bring it up again.. at the risk of having a huge argument, I would tell him that in order to get married I would really like an engagement ring, that I don’t need a fancy proposal but would appreciate him getting me an engagement ring and then making it public and setting a date. If he’s serious about it that should be no problem.

Post # 3
Member
3242 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Basically what I said on the other thread op. Read it. I wrote a really concise but effective paragraph you should use. 

Post # 4
Member
9333 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

You’ve started several threads about this over the past week and I’m pretty sure the advice has consistently been: sit down with him and have a serious heart-to-heart to figure out what exactly what he’s thinking. All the threads in the world aren’t going to give you insight into what’s actually going on in his head and with his heart. If you’re ready to spend the rest of your life with this man, you should be comfortable having this conversation with him.

Post # 6
Member
2425 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I don’t think your guy wants to get married at all. My fiance thinks that marriage is just a piece of paper too but he got me a engagement ring and we already purchased my wedding band. My fiance wanted to just go to a court house just like your guy but we are actually having a wedding with a dj, food, guest, and even cake. My fiance loves me enough to do whatever it takes to make me happy if that means marriage than so be it. The benefits he gets isn’t so bad either. 

If I were you I would give him an ultamatimum other wise he is going to keep stringing you along. If he keeps avoiding the subject I would just leave and find someone who is worthy of your time.  Someone who loves you enough to want to marry you and actually mean it. 

Post # 7
Member
11536 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

Bee, let’s be honest. If you can’t talk to him about this, why are you considering marrying him?

if you can talk to him about his feelings and your desires,then why do you keep asking us and ignoring the suggestions to talk to him?

i think you have some serious thinking to do:-( 

Post # 8
Member
9544 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

He’s been clear that a marriage/wedding isnt’ important to him and he’s mostly doing this for you. That’s okay. But that means you’ve got to be the driving force. Ask him to go to the jewler to get you a ring and him a watch (or whatever). He’s stated he’s interested in doing the wedding simply, so, from there, I’d start with a date and a list of things that are important to you. He’s probably not ever going to be super exctied or driven about the wedding. But that doesn’t mean that he wont’ be a great husband. 

Post # 9
Member
572 posts
Busy bee

Well apparently you’re not getting the answers or advice you’re looking for since you’ve posted about basically the same stuff for the past week. The ladies of the Bee are not going to sugarcoat things. You’ve been given helpful, realistic advice. You need to stop looking for the answers you want and bring this all up to your “fiancè”.

Post # 11
Member
2268 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

sapphire88:  No one but your Fiance can answer why he asked you to marry him 10 days ago if he doesn’t want to talk about marriage or get married.

Honestly? It sounds like y’all have some communication issues to work through. 

You shouldn’t feel uncomfortable asking your SO perfectly reasonable questions, and your SO shouldn’t respond in anger to those questions. It sounds like there’s much more going on here.

Post # 12
Member
742 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

Can you not just ask him these things? I find it so strange that you cannot talk to him. 

Also what planet is he living on that he thinks that’s normal behaviour to “propose” to someone like that, no ring or no sign of one.

 

Am I the only one who thinks this?!

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 11 months ago by  MrsKKtoBee.
Post # 13
Member
1036 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Merritt Winery

I was reading this and thought it sounded familiar! None of us have the answers you are looking for, my dear. I’m sorry you are feeling the way you are. I think the ONLY resolution will come from actually having a mature conversation with him. To me, it seems as if you want him to respond in a certain way. Well that never turns out good when we try to control how someone responds to a situation. Stop trying to analyze his behavior and talk to him. you might have to fight some more, but if it’s really something you want, it’s worth it. Good luck to you! 

Post # 14
Member
400 posts
Helper bee

Honestly, it’s a huge red flag for me that you don’t have a relationship where you can’t converse about this without fighting or getting dismissed. I think you need to reevaluate your relationship. It doesn’t sound like you are on the same page or are ready for marriage. I hope you find your answers soon. 

 

The topic ‘He 'proposed' 10 days ago- And now doesn't talk about it anymore at all’ is closed to new replies.

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