He proposed but refuses to speak about wedding planning

posted 5 months ago in Engagement
  • poll: Wh
  • Post # 2
    Member
    1443 posts
    Bumble bee

    He does not want to marry you. Sorry.

    Post # 3
    Member
    261 posts
    Helper bee

    I would say he doesn’t want to get married if he’s getting so upset about it. 

    So bizarre. 

    Have you just asked him when he wants to have the wedding? Maybe he’s concerned about money, anxsious about being around a lot of people and he doesn’t want to say so?

    IDK. Do you wanna marry someone who handles stuff like this by screaming and the silent treatment. 

     

    Post # 4
    Member
    1253 posts
    Bumble bee

    why214 :  I’m afraid it sounds like he thought proposing would be good enough to stop you from asking about marriage for a while. He thought it’d give him more time to drag his feet without having to make that ultimate commitment *juuust* yet. Now that you’re trying to make concrete plans (which, duh—you should because you’re engaged) he’s digging his heels in.

     

    In my opinion, if anyone started shouting at me and giving me the silent treatment when it comes to talking about marrying me, I’d think they weren’t excited about it, which would turn me off from wanting marriage with them at all! And the fact that this has happened more than once is a severe cause for you to take caution before proceeding any further with this dude…

     

    *best-case scenario: he will marry you because you keep asking him about it, but he isn’t excited about it or looking forward to it and doesn’t really want to

     

    *worst-case scenario: he doesn’t plan on marrying you  but proposed in an effort to get you off his back about it for a little while, and now he’s mad that his stalling tactic failed

     

    I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with this, but rest assured that it isn’t your fault. He’s too damn old to be a commitment phobe and should’ve been clearer about his intentions prior to having you uproot your entire life and sacrifice religious practices to move in with him. He deceived you.  

    Post # 5
    Member
    315 posts
    Helper bee

    He doesn’t want to get married.  He’s enjoying all the perks without the firm commitment.  Why do you want to marry a man that yells at you and gves you the silent treatment?  You deserve better than that.

    Post # 6
    Member
    772 posts
    Busy bee

    Yea he doesn’t want to get married. His reactions are unwarranted. I wouldn’t proceed with trying to marry him at this point, just based on his way of handling the situation (screaming and silent treatment) is not how a partner should behave.

    Post # 9
    Member
    1253 posts
    Bumble bee

    why214 :  but he won’t tell you that—because then you’d leave and mess up this sweet thing he’s got going! a wife and family, all the comforts that come with marriage, but without the legal commitment! what more could a shitty, cowardly man want in this short life?!

    Post # 15
    Member
    153 posts
    Blushing bee

    why214 :  

    Don’t blame yourself for moving, you made that choice based on information that you would be getting married! That is not your fault. Have you told him this is a deal-breaker for you?

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