He proposed but refuses to speak about wedding planning

posted 3 years ago in Engagement
  • poll: Wh
  • Post # 33
    Member
    11262 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: City, State

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    why214 :  

    Ok.  Just read your last update.  WTF?  Sorry, Bee.  This guy has “abuser” tattooed all over him.  Get out now and get your precious children the hell away from him.

    Post # 35
    Member
    5778 posts
    Bee Keeper

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    sassy411 :  You were right to disagree with me- I took my advice back in my second post.  

    Not a fan of someone screaming- but if it was a one-off and out of character…..I wouldn’t say ‘free pass to scream at partner’, but something I might give a second chance to. 

    Having read more of this guy’s behaviour though, I totally agree with you that she’s seeing tip of the iceberg now, a glimpse behind the mask, but definitely something I can see getting worse not better. Agree on the role model too, what are her kids supposed to think of a new step-father that screams at their mom alternating with refusing to talk to her?

    Post # 36
    Member
    5778 posts
    Bee Keeper

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    why214 :  You’re welcome, I’m sorry you have to go through this. 

    Post # 37
    Member
    11262 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: City, State

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    RobbieAndJuliahaha :  

    It’s on me.  I posted without reading far enough.

    Glad we’re on the same page now, though.

    Post # 38
    Member
    3266 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2017

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    why214 :  sorry you’re going through this. It does sound like it was a shut it up proposal. Immediately moving is the right decision, be strong as I suspect he will try to manipulate you with further (empty) promises. Yelling then silence when he doesn’t like your conversation is way inappropriate.  I too think his behavior could escalate as time goes on. Goodluck,  keep us posted. 

    Post # 41
    Member
    55 posts
    Worker bee

    I would definitely agree with all PP’s. He thought proposing would ‘tide you over’ and really didnt do it with the intention of following through with a wedding. I think now you have a choice to make: stick around and never get married and keep your relationship as is, or move on and find someone who wants to take that next step.

    Post # 42
    Member
    55 posts
    Worker bee

    Didnt read all the responses! Yeah good for you, just move on. By The Way if someone is going to speak to you the way you say he does when bringing up a wedding, that is not appropriate on any level and you deserve way better. 

    Post # 44
    Member
    7756 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 1997

    Sadly, your initial instincts about wanting a proposal before moving was correct, but that’s water under the bridge at this point. He doesn’t want to marry you and probably never did. The truly unfortunate thing at this point is that you have made a makeshift family without getting the marriage you wanted, and leaving will affect the kids as well. That doesn’t mean you should sacrifice yourself and stay, of course, just that you might want to require MARRIAGE before moving in with someone next time.

    Post # 45
    Member
    287 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2017

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    echomomm :  wow, how incredibly unhelpful and judgmental. Talk about kicking someone when they’re down. 

    Work on your compassion.

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