He proposed but refuses to speak about wedding planning

posted 2 years ago in Engagement
  • poll: Wh
  • Post # 65
    Member
    1442 posts
    Bumble bee

    Well done seeing through his games and ploys. It is awful to be faced with the sad reality of a person you thought you loved at one time. I am so sorry that you are going through this. But you will get through it and come out stronger on the other end.

    Find any appartment pronto, even if it is just for a short term until you find a place you really like, just get out and get on with a happier life.

    Post # 66
    Member
    11299 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: City, State

    View original reply
    why214 :  

    Abusers can turn on a dime, Bee.  Your bf is very typical of the species.  What I don’t like is the escalation.  I am concerned for your safety and for the safety of your precious children.

    The DV Hotline is a good place to get help planning your exit and exploring other resources.

    Home

     

    Post # 67
    Member
    3066 posts
    Sugar bee

    I’m sad to see these updates. Get out of there ASAP & don’t engage him in arguments.

    Be thankful you found out who he really is before you married him!!!

    Post # 68
    Member
    3298 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2017

    View original reply
    why214 :  He is becoming abusive,  agree with pp,  you need to get yourself and your kids out of there asap!

    Post # 69
    Member
    5778 posts
    Bee Keeper

    View original reply
    why214 :  Your updates are pretty chilling Bee. I don’t think this is a situation where you can simply apartment hunt and then let him know you’re leaving/ pack up yours & your kids’ belongings. If he threatens to smash your belongings simply because you ‘dared’ speak while he was in mid-tirade, his reaction to you leaving him could be life-threatening. Not saying this to scare you but to warn you. Forewarned is forearmed. In an abusive situation, extra precautions need to be in place when ending a relationship. Certainly more advice than I can offer, please speak asap to a local agency/ hotline dealing with abusive situations for advice on how to proceed with getting your children and yourself out of there safely and soon. 

    Post # 70
    Member
    11299 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: City, State

    View original reply
    RobbieAndJuliahaha :  

    There is a tendency for victims to do a lot of minimizing in these situations.  It’s nearly impossible to get your mind around the reality that the person you wanted to marry just a few short days ago could actually kill you.  And your children.

    The ugly truth is, in the US, 55% of all women who are murdered are killed by intimate partners.

    This is why it’s so important for victims to reach out to others with knowledge of domestic violence—hotlines, DV facilities, survivors, people who can reality test for them.  I intentionally left out ‘therapists”.  Too few are adequately trained in even recognizing abuse, let alone knowing how to deal with it.

    Hopefully, the OP will check in soon with a positive update.

    Post # 71
    Member
    24 posts
    Newbee

    My ex proposed to me, he talked about wedding planning for about 2 months and then it suddenly stopped. He didn’t even want to think about a wedding. 9 months later we broke up. I’m sorry 😔 it’s tough 

    Post # 75
    Member
    150 posts
    Blushing bee

    Sounds like you got a “shut up” ring. Don’t stand for it. 

    Argh just saw your update. you go girl!!

    Leave a comment


    Find Amazing Vendors