He proposed but refuses to speak about wedding planning

posted 5 months ago in Engagement
  • poll: Wh
  • Post # 122
    Member
    9230 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 2010

    why214 :  

    YAY!!! Happy dancing right now.

    Congratulations on your new and much improved life!

    You have done so well, I am just thrilled for you and your children.  You’ll find your happiness level going up with each passing day.  You may have a few backsliding episodes where you find yourself missing the Fantasy Guy.  But, those will pass, as long as you don’t act on them.  Just don’t.

    Stick with No Contact, no good will come out of talking to that guy.

    Thank you so much for posting such a wonderful update!

    Can we see some pics of your new pad?

     

    Post # 123
    Member
    516 posts
    Busy bee

    Congrats!! So glad to hear you are moving forward. Good things are coming your way!! Stick to your guns with the no contact. He had all the chance in the world to step up and he didn’t. The last thing he should get is any more of your time or attention. Hugs!!

    Post # 126
    Member
    191 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2018

    why214 :  This is such a beautiful update 🙂 Thank you for stopping by to let us know the good news! The right relationship is out there for oyu, I just know it.

    Post # 128
    Member
    9230 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 2010

    why214 :  

    So typical.  The can’t stand it when they sense that they’re losing control over one of their victims.  They can alternate between love bombing and brutal attacks, depending on their moods.

    No Contact is really the only healthy way to go.  He has nothing to say that you need to hear.  Thankfully, you don’t have real estate, assets, and children together that need to be negotiated.

    Never expect an abuser to initiate No Contact.  For them, no relationship is ever truly over.

    Where are the pics of your new place?

    Post # 130
    Member
    73 posts
    Worker bee

    You’re so strong! I read through the thread from the beginning. You’re doing the best thing for yourself and your kids! 

    Post # 133
    Member
    516 posts
    Busy bee

    why214 :  probably best if you post this update in a new post so everyone sees it and can respond easier. Honestly I don’t know of any therapist who would reach out to a clients ex on their behalf. It sounds super fishy to me. 

    Here is something that stuck with me from another waiting bee post a month ago. Someone said, why would you want to be with a man who had so little respect for you and the relationship that he let you get so frustrated and upset you were ready to leave or already left before he decided to care about your feelings. 

    That is what is going on with him. He cared so little for you that it took you dumping him because you couldn’t stand it anymore for him to take your feelings seriously. That is not someone I would want to be with. He let you get to a breaking point before he decided to take you seriously. And at this point he only now cares because he is being inconvenienced by not having a girlfriend. You deserve to be with someone who considers your feelings wayyyy before you get to the point of leaving. You did the right thing here by leaving him. I seriously don’t think you would be able to let go of the resentment you feel for how he treated you up until this point even with therapy together. The relationship is already tainted. Stay strong bee and keep moving forward. Don’t give him a second thought. He had PLENTY of chances. 

    Post # 134
    Member
    224 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: January 2019

    why214 :  Bee therapists NEVER reach out to people on their client’s behalf. This is not the therapist reaching out. No professional in their right mind would do this. 

    Post # 135
    Member
    2386 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: December 2018

    How did this “therapist” contact you?

    Regardless, let him “change” on his own. Without you. I guarantee you he will not truly change. He’ll put on a show for awhile and then the real him will be back.

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