(Closed) He proposed-mostly.. but I don't understand!?

posted 4 years ago in Proposals
Post # 2
Member
2561 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

View original reply
kjacks89 :  that’s very alarming. Why would he ask and then expect you to not talk about it? I would be just as confused as you are. 

When my husband asked me to marry him after 8 years it took me about two weeks to start planning. When I asked some basic questions he was surprised I wanted to get moving on the wedding so quickly. I told him “if you wanted a long engagement you should have proposed five years ago”. We got to planning and have now been married 2.5 months. 

I’m getting red flags from your post. Sounds like he asked to shut you up but isn’t actually ready to get married. 

Post # 3
Member
365 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2019

Have you been talking to him about engagement or marriage lately?

Cos it does sound kinda odd that he would propose but feeling pressured next.

Post # 4
Member
3290 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

I would be confused, too!!! I would ask him directly if you are engaged or not. If yes, what is the timeline for the ring and the wedding? 

Post # 5
Member
526 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
kjacks89 :  It sounds like maybe he wanted to get engaged and married BUT without a ring. That’s fine, but he should be having a discussion about it, not shutting you down.

Post # 6
Member
2317 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

Was he talking about theoretically wanting to marry you, or did he say will you marry me?

Post # 7
Member
812 posts
Busy bee

We need more details! Explain how it happened….

Post # 8
Member
3597 posts
Sugar bee

To me it sounds like he asked you to marry him and you almost immediately launched into what kind of ring and how much will our budget be…. instead of maybe just enjoying the moment for awhile?

Maybe he heard “YES and now here’s a boatload of money we have to spend!” That could definitely make someone feel pressure.

 

Post # 9
Member
2943 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

View original reply
kjacks89 :  Ummm…he proposes with no ring and them he’s taken aback by you discussing wedding plans? What the hell is he expecting? I agree with PP – I’d ask him if we were really engaged… And then promptly explain what being engaged means. 

Post # 10
Member
657 posts
Busy bee

Have you talked about marriage before? And did he do the whole speech and get down on one knee thing? I wonder if you could have misunderstood his discussion of the topic as a proposal. My fiancé definitely asked me “do you want to get married” over a year before our official proposal. 

Post # 11
Member
11371 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

Yeah, I can see 

View original reply
katebluestone :  ‘s point, and I’m hoping for your sake, OP, that this is exactly what happened.

Your Fiance might have asked you to marry him thinking that was the big deal and he might have been surprised that things moved so quickly to what in his eyes could have been money and money and money. 

However, you have NOTHING to be ashamed of and you must not let his reaction make you feel ashamed. You did the normal thing of going into planning mode and ring thoughts. Please let go any shame, it’s simply not appropriate. 

Post # 12
Member
3290 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

What are your ages? If you are both younger, that would explain a lot. Is he financially able to purchase a ring and get married? Or was this more like something he wanted to do in the future? 

Post # 13
Member
570 posts
Busy bee

Context is missing. Was he on his knee “will you marry me?” Style, in conversation “I want to marry you?” 

 

Otherwise, I’m with @katebluestone on this one. 

Post # 14
Member
134 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

Well tbh, when my Fiance asked me to marry him, pretty soon after I went into wedding mode, doing research etc. and he was a little freaked out too. I don’t know how your situation happened, but I think some guys don’t want to think about starting to plan the wedding right after getting engaged.

Post # 15
Member
3437 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Poppy Ridge Golf Course

More details needed bc this sounds strange. Even your mention of a mostly proposal is confusing. Either he did or he didn’t. So if you could explain exactly how this mostly proposal happened that would help.

The topic ‘He proposed-mostly.. but I don't understand!?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors