(Closed) he proposed w/o a ring, planning a wedding without a ring :(

posted 7 years ago in Proposals
Post # 3
Member
7291 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

Its okay to feel jealous, but don’t let society ruin such a beautiful thing!

Sounds like you aren’t really ready to marry this guy if you are sad and depressed….Most girls here on the waiting would kill for a guy to be doing what yours does- ring or no ring.

 

Post # 4
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I wore a CZ for years and didn’t have a ring to show people at first. Go ring shopping if it’s important to you and stop stressing about it.

Post # 5
Member
415 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@shawndy: Well why didn’t he get the ring for you?  Is it because of money, or because the proposal was spontaneous, and he didn’t pick it out yet?

Ask him.  Tell him that you want to go pick out your ring.  

Post # 6
Member
425 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Aw hun, let me tell you something. A ring shouldnt represent commitment. You and your now Fiance ( and you should feel thrilled to say Fiance lol ) are in love and want to start a marriage together, share a life forever. Who knows, maybe hell get u a ring down the road? but dont be sad, Its ok. A ring isnt a sign of engagement–

Post # 7
Member
466 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Well… it’s not about the ring!

It’s about how you two feel. Maybe he’s just so excited to get all these things underway, that he doesn’t want to wait to get a ring, or wants you involved in the process.

I’m the exact opposite, my boyfriend won’t say “officialy” engaged until the ring is on my finger. I’m pretty sure he’s stashing it as his parents too… le sigh.

Post # 8
Member
14658 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Is a plan in the works for a ring?  If someone asks about it, just tell them you guys are in the process of picking one out but didnt think the ring was absolutely necessary to start planning the wedding.

Post # 9
Member
415 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

It just strikes me as strange that you never posted anything about talking to him about it.  

Like if this is something important to you, then pony up, and ask!  “When are we going to be going to look at rings together?”  “Do you want a man-gagement ring?  I’m just so excited to get my engagement ring!”  

Ask.  Communication.  This is what being engaged is about.  Not diamonds and picture posting on facebook.

Post # 10
Member
3367 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

My engagement began w/o a ring and we are beyond happy, so don’t sweat it!  Just tell them you’re having it sized, if you feel you need to say anything.

Post # 11
Member
1729 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I’m super confused. First I’m feeling like part of this story is missing — any guy knows that presenting a ring when proposing is the cultural, traditional norm, so if he didn’t have a ring at the time, you’d think the subject would have at least been brought up.

Secondly, I’m confused about whether or not you actually feel ready/want to marry him, mostly based off you saying, “yes i love you and i know we are going to be together for the rest of our lives i just don’t get what the big deal is…” and explaining that you have “nightly future talks” (that sounds like that would be kind of annoying, to me at least) during which you always “joke” with him about how you don’t want to marry him, etc. Is there any truth to that? Were you kind of bamboozled into an engagement here that you weren’t really wanting?

Post # 12
Member
665 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Omg this is almost exactly how my SO proposed to me also! I thought he was just talking about it like he always would. I didn’t have a ring for a long time.

I think your SO was probably caught up in the moment, full if love for you in his heart that having a ring just didn’t seem necessary to him at the moment. I didn’t get a ring for a long time but that it’s only because I didn’t think I needed one. not until I realized I really wanted an ering did I get one. And that is only because I asked him. And I picked out a date when we both went ring shopping. I will say that when I got my ering it all felt so much more official.

Post # 13
Member
1444 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

When my Fiance proposed there wasn’t a ring. 2 weeks later I got a cz and wore that for while until I got a moissy solitaire which I wear now. Now that he has the budget he wants to get me something nicer, something that I fell in love with when we first started looking so I am getting that ring soon, 3 months before our wedding.

The thing I suggest is to ask, I mean, what is the point of being depressed about it when it’s something you should really talk to him about? I don’t mean to sound rude at all, I just mean that you should get a ring eventually so why not start looking now and discuss budgets and what not with him? If he hasn’t made clear what his budget is and why you haven’t looked at rings then you should bring it up. Not having a ring isn’t that big of a deal when it comes to showing people, I just told people when I didn’t have one, that I couldn’t make up my mind since he wanted me to pick it out, so we were going to wait until I found one I liked. This broke the awkward-ness that comes along with not having one, at least for me it did.

Keep your head up though and don’t feel sad about it, this is a wonderful, exciting thing! Get a placeholder ring for now and I promise it will feel a little more “real” until you get your actual ring. Then you at least have something on your finger to make you feel comfortable.

Post # 14
Member
566 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Sounds like you are second guessing your relationship. My Fiance proposed to me without a ring because he couldnt afford then he went and got me a beautiful ring once he could afford. A ring should not signify your committment to one another. It is seen under gods eyes as soon you will become one. If you love this man and he is your bf of 11 yrs let nothing come in between that.And as far as the ring if it is that much of an issue go get a cubic zirconia so that you can feel that part of the relationship. But if it doesnt matter be blessed and happy that he is willing to spend the rest of his life loving you. Keep in mind dont block your blessings he could be saving to get you a nice 2 carat

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