He replaced me and my child

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
7561 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

It hurts even worse knowing he’ll probably give her everything I wanted…

It sounds as if what he’s likely to give her is an STI.

He wasn’t good to you. He isn’t good to her. At some point let’s hope she catches on and ditches his ass. Be happy that you dodged a bullet!

Post # 3
Member
10396 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

You need to cut all contact. There is no reason for you to know anything about his life now. Delete/block him on all social media and tell any mutual friends you don’t need to hear anything about what he’s up to now.

Post # 4
Member
48 posts
Newbee

View original reply
buzzingbeez14 :  

In the beginning he will treat her the way he should have always treated you, but it will fade. He will get bored and hurt her just the same, he will probably try to come back to you but it is your choice if you allow the cycle to continue. People that cheat and lie to their significant other will always end up lonely and will never get the chance to feel what real love is like.

People are put into your life for a reason, and they are removed from your life for a better reason. He surved his purpose in yours. This may be difficult to see but with this heart ache you are made not only a stronger person, but a better one. People have to experience pain like yours so that they may understand what its like to hurt and have real empathy for others. It is the empathy that you have gained from this experience that makes you an extremely important person in this world. We need more people like you and that is why heart aches exist and why heart breakers exist. I dont think you can ever cheat on a person you love and if you do, you never loved them fully, otherwise there wouldn’t be any voids to fill. Don’t be sad, you have lost someone who did not love you, But he lost someone who loved him. 

Ill keep you and your son in my thoughts and prayers, and I hope that him stepping out of your life will allow the right person to walk into it. 

Post # 5
Member
3317 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2021

“he’ll probably give her everything I wanted”

…no he won’t. He’ll give her the same bullshit he gave you. Apparently he already has! I know it’s hard right now, but you should be focusing on the fact that you and your son are better off without him. Who he’s with now is none of your concern. If anything, I’d feel bad for the poor girl because you know what she is just getting into and it’s shit. 

This dude lied to you and cheated on you… you deserve better and I’m sure this new woman does too.

Post # 6
Member
1475 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

im glad you have close people you can confide in with how you are feeling but I’m concerned with the emotional burden it is putting on them after 6 months have passed, have you considered talking to a therapist or counselor who can help you work through these angry and anxious feelings? 

You could always message her on FB about it, too. Honestly, I did that ONCE a long time ago, and it was, ‘did you know he’s sleeping with you and me? Because I didn’t’ and she stopped seeing him. She can use the information, or not. It’s her choice. 

As long as you stick to the facts. ‘Hey there, this is buzzingbee14, I just wanted to reach out to you to let you know that EX Boyfriend or Best Friend is a horrible person. He did X, Y, Z, a, b,c to my son and I and I wouldn’t feel right if I didn’t let another mother know about the kind of person he is so you can protect yourself. Obviously, it is your choice of how you use this information, but I personally wouldn’t feel right not letting you know. God Bless You’. 

 

Post # 7
Member
1604 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
buzzingbeez14 :  Sadly feelings for a person don’t go away just like that, they can sometimes sway temporarily your head or make you feel like it’s more important than the logistics of everything. It will change over time. I know the feeling a little, recently my ex did something similar and it’s hard to move on, mines only been a few weeks and we were together 8 years. But it gets better all the time, even if you do feel bitter and at times angry with how things have gone.

I think the main thing you need to remember is, he is not good. He didn’t give you what you want and needed, he will not with this new women and that’s evident since he’s already done things like lied and cheated on her. How is that giving her everything you or she wants? He sounds like dick, plain and simple. I would be reminding yourself that he has had enough of your time already, don’t let him have more and interrupt anymore of your life. 

Another main thing, cut all contact with him! It’s torture watching him do things and it will not make any of it better. You can’t move on if you are so concentrated on what he is currently doing. Focus on you, let him ruin his own life.

Post # 8
Member
876 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2019 - Country/barn

 

View original reply
hikingbride :  this!! It’s impossible to move on otherwise! I 100% believe in cutting all contact. 

Post # 9
Member
2357 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Well, you aren’t going to get over it if you continue to have contact with him. If you have to delete your own social media accounts to avoid temptation to monitor him, so be it. Block his number. Agree therapy is likely needed. You know this guy is no good, but you are still hung up on him, jealous of his new girlfriend whom YOU KNOW he has cheated on and lied to, and every time he calls, you talk to him and open the wound up all over again.

Post # 11
Member
4053 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2019 - Canada

He’s already showing you that you cant trust him and he’s already showing her that she cant trust him. What makes you think that hes going to give her everything you wanted? What’s that; a lying, cheating sack of sh*t? I wouldn’t want that in a partner, why do you?? 

I know it’s really hard to see it when you still have feelings for someone, but this guy is a garbage pile. He uses people and when he’s done, he tosses them aside. You deserve so much better than that. Focus on the things in your life that are good and make you happy. Do more things that make you happy and find joy in your life. When you are happy and love yourself, you will find someone who loves and respects you (or you will get rid of them because you know you deserve better).

Post # 12
Member
1475 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

View original reply
buzzingbeez14 :  well that’s her problem then if you tried to let her know/warn her. 

Honestly if a woman came to me and was like ‘that man you are with is a liar and a scum bag’ I would probably believe her and leave him. 

Post # 13
Member
1087 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
buzzingbeez14 :  Yes, cut all contact. You don’t need constant reminders or your ex. It will only hold you back. Instead of dating yourself, concentrating on your son, or going out with friends you’ll be stuck wondering “what’s he up to?” or “why is he doing that?”

Post # 14
Member
6964 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

I hope that you can move past this and give yourself the necessary time and space to heal. The only people really suffering in this entire scenario are these poor children whose mothers need to be more discerning about who they bring into their kids’ lives.

This guy sounds like a POS; I hope you can soon see that you are better off without him. Most importantly, your son is better off without him around.

Post # 15
Member
9406 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

he’s *already* cheated on her.  So he can’t give her one of the most basic things you probably wanted from him: fidelity (and a clean dick).

He really won’t give her anything he should’ve been giving you–pity her, for she’s in for the same heartbreak you’re going through… and he’s going to break her kids heart too. 🙁

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