- 5 months ago
I’ve been dating this guy for about 6 months. In the first couple of months, we connected physically and had no issues. After that, he started having a hard time completing the act. I started to take it personally and asked him if he wasn’t attracted to me. He (for months) told me he thinks it is health related, but doesn’t want to go to the doctor for it due to embarrassment. He also would tell me time and time again that he is attracted to me and it has nothing to do with me.
Fast forward 6 months in. I finally bring it up again and he sat there for a couple minutes in complete silence and then told me he likes toned women and that my bottom half and stomach that hangs holds him back. He doesn’t like any fat. He also said me being bigger is also an issue with him being smaller below, specifically when I’m on top because it can’t go in as much. I actually had a tummy tuck right before I met him, however, I still have a little pooch bending over. I felt humiliated and upset after feeling so good about myself after my surgery, since I had so much access skin from losing weight. Like it was all for nothing.
He was trying to help me lose weight by cooking healthy and exercising with me, and that was his way to fix the problem without coming out and telling me. However, it was eating at him.
I know I need to tone up and lose some more weight, however, I feel defeated. I am and have been exercising and eating healthy. I
I’m upset that it took him six months to tell me and that he constantly lied and said it wasn’t about me during intimacy when I would cry multiple times telling him that I thought it was.
I want to tone up. I want to look good, but I also have never had the perfect body.
He said he is still attracted to me and mentioned how he always wants to be affectionate and come in the shower with me. He says it doesn’t correlate with sex. It’s a gray area and yes, he is attracted. He also said that he’s sure there are things that I physically don’t like about him.
Probably being a little dramatic, but I’ve never dealt with a situation like this since my past relationships have complimented my figure.
Advice on on my next steps? I want to make it work and lose weight. I want to add that he was very supportive and encouraging and wants to help me lose weight, like he has been. He wasn’t rude at all in the discussion. I was happy he was honest with me. Says he loves me just the same. Just very taken back.