He said he is not attracted to me?

posted 5 months ago in Relationships
Post # 46
3738 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2019 - City, State

No bee, HELLL NO. You need a man who is going to make you feel beautiful all the time, not make you feel self-conscious and like you have to attain and maintain a perfect physique, just to keep him sexually interested. Could you imagine the fate of your relationship heavily relying on the state of your body for the rest of your life? What if you get injured and can’t work out and gain 5 lbs? What if you get pregnant? You’ve only been with this guy for 6 months, but he’s already shown you how fickle his attraction is and while he’s trying to blame you, it’s actually his problem, and ONLY his problem. Eat healthy and work out for you, not so your idiotic boyfriend can climax. 

Post # 47
12107 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

OP, and this is also why so many people told you that three months in was way too soon to be starting a relationship with this man’s young son. If there’s a next time, it’s something else to keep in mind. 

Post # 48
459 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2019

Oh Bee, I feel really sorry for what he said to you.

I agree with all the other Bees, I couldn’t stay with him.

I can understand that every person has its preferences and this includes the body type, but how was it possible to be attracted to you in the beginning and then suddenly he isn’t anymore? That’s far from believable?

I don’t know if you think it’s worth it, but the only right thing he could do now, would to go to see a doctor or a counselor in order to seek out where the problem really comes from. But it seems that he’s quicker in looking in other directions (you) than to confront himself.

Post # 49
4811 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

Wjhat a load of BS. He’s found the perfect excuse for not being able to perform– blame it all on you! Don’t believe him, OP. He’s full of s*it. You can do better. 

Post # 50
182 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

kayla037 :  this sounds horrible. Do you want to wake up every day wondering if your stomach is flat enough for him to have sex with you today? And then, when you are small enough for him, he will find something else to blame his issues on? I’m with all of the PPs who said you should move on.

Post # 51
8832 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

kayla037 :  “Advice on on my next steps?” — Yes, dump this jackass bug-fucker.

I want to make it work and lose weight.” — Make what work? 

Post # 52
1300 posts
Bumble bee

You should want to lose weight for yourself not for some loser who is trying to pawn off his medical issue on you. He’s a knob and you deserve better.

Post # 53
195 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2020 - Ireland

In the words of my late father:

”Fuck that limp dick motherfucker!”

Post # 55
195 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2020 - Ireland

lifeisbeeutiful :  right?! 😂 I so miss that foul mouth but I’m happy to share his pearls of wisdom on his behalf!

Post # 56
30 posts

If you feel good about yourself the way you are, which it sounds like you are, great!  Do not change your body for anyone except for YOU.  There are men who would love you the way you are.  My bf has always been drawn towards the fit body type, but I have a few extra pounds and he never says a word about it or makes me feel horrible about myself. I’m not one to jump immediately to the “leave him” thing, but I couldn’t be with someone who made me feel horrible about a body that I had already worked hard to get and one that I’m happy with.  I’m sorry that he has made you feel that way. 

Post # 57
6657 posts
Bee Keeper

Cut your losses, Bee. Life’s way too short to spend it with a poorly equipped man who blames his inadequacies on you.

When someone is attracted to you they are attracted to YOU, faults and all, the whole package. Hold out for that. It’s worth it. Don’t be with someone who makes you feel as if…as if I only did this he would love me, as if I only did that he would be attracted to me…

Post # 58
1098 posts
Bumble bee

Tell him he can jerk his little gerken to a popsicle stick and go fuck himself. It’s not your fault he can’t perform.

Do not tie your self-esteem to his inability to use his peanut-sized peen. It’s not worth it- you will never measure up (and neither will his little pickle dick). What a jerk  

Post # 59
1256 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

kayla037 :  I’m loving all of the support you’re getting on this thread and completely agree with most of what’s been said.

You deserve to feel good about yourself, and shouldn’t feed any aspect of your life that goes against that.

All that said, I get the impression these were not really the answers you wanted. You spent a lot of time in your post defending him and trying to paint him as a good guy, so it probably hurts a little to have him crucified in these comments. Maybe he’s not a bag guy, but this is a bad situation and what he chose to say to you was a very bad thing. He doesn’t have to be some awful dickhead in order for you to decide you can do better and be happier in a different situation. Just make sure you don’t get so caught up playing up his pros that you forget the impact of this major major con. 

Best of luck, bee. 

Post # 60
715 posts
Busy bee

downonmulberry :  

Yes, I agree completely. I was talking about the quote in more general terms.

But I completely agree with your assessment of the OP’s situation. Her boyfriend is not the right guy for her if he is suddenly put off by her having a few extra kilos.

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