Post # 1
Member
19 posts
Newbee
Been seeing him for a year now. Whenever we did have sex – he was very rough and there was no foreplay, so it hurt. A couple of times the pain was so bad I cried. I had a talk with him and told him that he needs to stop being so rough because it’s painful, and he just calls me weak and said it’s such a turnoff for him and that I always leave him unsatisfied.
I’m at my wits end with him. It’s like he doesn’t care that it’s painful for me, and then has the nerve to tell me hes unsatisfied…
Has anyone ever experienced this?
Post # 2
Member
8860 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
Unfortunately, I’m sure others have experienced this however nobody should have to. This is not okay and you need to end the relationship immediately. It’s not “like” he doesn’t care, he actually does not care. Please, please end this relationship and never look back. Know that this is 100% unacceptable.
Post # 3
Member
8693 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
Wow what. Why are you with this dbag?
Post # 4
Member
3026 posts
Sugar bee
Some people just aren’t compatible sexually. It sounds like the two of you have very different preferences. He also sounds like a douche bag. I’d throw this fish back in the pond.
Post # 5
Member
19 posts
Newbee
Early on in the relationship it was an issue, until a few months ago he apologized for his behaviour and said that he was immature.
I recently tried to have a discussion about moving forward – I just turned 30 and I want to start planning my future. And then he brought up the same issue again stating it was our biggest issues…
Post # 6
Member
1772 posts
Buzzing bee
You two are sexually incompatible. He likes it rough to the point of inflicting pain on others. He doesn’t care what you want. That isn’t likely to change for either of you. Leave and find someone with similar sexual appetites.
Post # 7
Member
19 posts
Newbee
smalltownbigworld : Perhaps you are right about compatability.. sometimes it’s not enough to be good to someone
Post # 8
Member
1920 posts
Buzzing bee
Your future is not with this man, RUN!!
Post # 9
Member
19 posts
Newbee
I keep feeling like it’s my fault though! I have tried so much to let him do his thing, but I can’t just lie there in quietness. I can’t believe he would base a marriage on just this!!
Am I wrong for thinking how dumb and immature he is??? Considering there are like a billion other things to worry about in a marriage??
Post # 10
Member
399 posts
Helper bee
He is only after his own selfish sexual needs.
You have expressed your dislikes on how he treats you during sex and he has turned on about you. Honestly you know very well this guy isn’t the one for you.
There is kinky rough sex but you would have to be someone who consents and likes pain/pleasure to be compatiable.
It is clear you are someone who prefers making love, gentle and slow. Leave this guy, you will find someone else. Even at age 30 there is time to find someone else.
Post # 11
Member
19 posts
Newbee
just continue to talk to him about this problem, i think it will be solved through your two efforts. Maybe he didnt mean to hurt you. BUTTT, if he continues his rudeness, you’d better to leave him.
Post # 12
Member
399 posts
Helper bee
jg88998 : It is not your fault. Don’t blame yourself, I don’t think he is dumb or immature. More like he is inconsiderate about your needs too and only thinking for himself. He sounds like a guy who is into really rough sex and is kinky.
Have you told him to stop while having sex? Does he force you into sexual things that you don’t want to do? If so then that is spousal rape.
Post # 14
Member
19 posts
Newbee
lily0068 : I really thought that it was resolved when he apologized to me. He was so sincere in his apology. But when I had a talk with him about next steps, he brought it up again.
I feel like he doesn’t want to marry me – or has no intention of doing so – so he brings up issues in the past that were thought to be resolved.
I don’t want to feel like I am changing myself for anyone and feel like I am not being respected for my efforts.
Post # 15
Member
19 posts
Newbee
rosiesummer : I haven’t have sex with him in a few months to be honest. But a few months ago when we did, I had told him to stop and he got mad at me and then told me to leave his house..
Member