He said he would propose but he didn’t!!!

posted 2 years ago in Proposals
Post # 76
111 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

What a complete asshole! He was just stringing you along and wasting your time! I’m so proud of you for walking away from such a manipulative and cruel person! You deserve better. You’re still young and you will find a man who will be excited to purpose to you! For now, focus on bettering yourself and only on you. You’re worth it!

Post # 77
1639 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

karen2017 :  Hi lil bee!  I’m sorry you’re hurting right now but at this point, if you don’t follow thru with consequences you simply send the message that you’re okay with the current state of your relationship.

In my experience, when a man wants to propose he doesn’t need to be pushed or prodded.  There’s no “perfect time” or any of the bs you may have heard. They certainly don’t wait until days before the walk date or even after.  Guys are usually like “I better make her mine before someone else does”.  After 7 years he knows whether or not you’re the “ONE” but as things are comfortable for him currently, he has no reason to marry you.  You’re being strung along until he gets tired of the relationship or SHE comes along (i.e. not you).  Either way, he’s in control and deciding your future.  Don’t allow that to happen bee.  Take control of your life and your future.  

Post # 78
8324 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

rez123 :  

The sweet voice of reason …….so good to read your post! 

Post # 79
8324 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

karen2017 :  

Oh well done you for confronting   and for walking , which I guess( hope!)   you have done by now .

Essentially he changed his mind about marriage ( and  didn’t tell you until forced to do so, plus a little dash of making  you feel bad for ‘pressuring ‘ him ).   However, he  still wishes to retain the privelege  of changing it back at some unspecified  point.    At this point he will, one presumes,  tell you and thus allow you to get back on board your own future .  You  in the  meantime will have been a good quiet little girl and not bothered him about it . 

7 years and you are not  even living together Good thing too, less stuff to move . I wish you the very best of luck OP . Don’t  answer those calls and texts though , unless it is to confirm when to collect stuff etc . Stay strong. 

Post # 80
661 posts
Busy bee

Good for you OP! It is hard to leave a relationship that lasted so long and started when you were so young. Essentially you two grew up together. What I would do is make a list of all the things you wanted to do in the last seven years that you haven’t for whatever reason and try your hand at doing them! 

That job in a city he hates? Apply!

He thinks foreign films are pretentious? Binge watch every subtitled art thing you can get your hands on! 

He thinks line dancing is tacky? Get your boot scooting on! 

He’s allergic to cats? Start fostering those feral kittens you’ve always wanted to!

Honestly, it’s so fun and liberating to be single as a young person and realize – hey, whatever I want to do, I can do it!

Post # 81
1144 posts
Bumble bee

karen2017 :  Karen, we are all SO proud of you!!! So many ladies on this site stick with men who will never marry them. But more than that, they don’t realize their true value and that anyone should be lucky to marry them. You hit the nail on the head with that comment about realizing your worth. You are worth of commitment!

You stood up for yourself at such a young age. Most 24 year olds I know are in bad relationships with no hope of leaving. You are wise beyond your years and I can guarantee that Mr. Right will come along and completely sweep you off your feet in a way that no one else has. Stay strong! Sending hugs. 

Post # 82
74 posts
Worker bee

karen2017 :  I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I would also suggest leaving him hun, sorry. You’re young though and can do 100x better, I promise you. You deserve someone who knows what they want.

Just read your update, YEEEEEY! onto bigger and better things *lots of hugs* good luck! xxx

Post # 83
104 posts
Blushing bee

Walking away is really hard. Be true to your word and heart though. You said you would. You know your worth so go and take that step. 

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