- 7 years ago
ACK! So you’re probably thinking I’m super lucky, I get to pick my own engagement ring – ladies I need your help!!!
So here is the thing, my bf and I have been talking about getting engaged for about a month now and a few weeks ago he told me I needed to decide what kind of ring I want. I’m a designer and I tend to “curate” my belongings quite a bit, he tends to like things that I like/pick out but is usually off the mark (but well meaning) when he picks things out for me (I try not to let him know but he knows). Anyways he said he wouldn’t feel confident picking out a ring without my input.
Here is the thing, of all the wedding related nonsense that swims around in my head all day I haven’t really put much thought into my “dream engagement ring”. Since we started to look I have found a few I could live with but nothing that I couldn’t live without.
Problem 2 is that we are on a serious budget, we are moving to another city next month and so far neither of us have jobs there yet. I don’t feel comfortable with him spending a ton of money on a ring when we don’t have money for anything else right now and the rings that we have looked at within our price range haven’t really appealed to me. Ideally I’d like an estate ring too so that would bring down the cost but I haven’t seen anything.
He told me he doesn’t want to show me all his cards by giving me a date or specific timeline but that I have “about two months”, to decide.
(I know, I know, TLDR right?)
Okay so, I made a poll just because I’m curious but there are a few options and here are my silly issues with them (I’m sure a few of you will just want to smack me):
1 – Find a less expensive, small ring and just be happy with it. (my issue with this is it seems silly to spend any amount of money just for the sake of having a ring if it isn’t the right one)
2 – Use one of my Stepmom’s family diamonds that she keeps telling me are available, this would probably my only chance of having a big ol diamond but it would feel weird that it is from my family, he says he’d feel weird that it isn’t something from him to me. I feel like it would be weird given our -recent student- type financial situation to have a bigger stone – of course that will hopefully change over time and I might “grow into” the ring. The option there would be to design the setting together I guess.
3 – Forget this engagement ring business and just focus on getting a nice wedding band since I’m not sure I’d wear the engagement ring for every-day purposes once I had a band as well. I would “feel” engaged as soon as I knew I could plan our wedding without feeling guilty about doing it – I feel like he’d rather give me a sparkley thing though.
I’m not super jazzed about the idea of upgrading later too because I am a stick in the mud and want to be able to tell my kids “oh your dad proposed with this ring blah blah blah”. And if he bought me something I’d feel like it would hurt his feelings to know that I was going to wait for something better – he’s a pretty traditonal “man buy ring, man kneel down, ring on girl hand, happy forever” kind of guy.
You are have such insight so I hope you can help me!!