(Closed) He said” This is why I dont want to marry you”

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
3601 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

aw. *hug*

Post # 4
1124 posts
Bumble bee

… that’s a really mean thing for your Fiance to say. He needs to apologize, big time. If one little argument makes him say that, I wonder what will happen in the future with a bigger argument?

Post # 5
260 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Big Hug!

That was intuitive of you to pick an emotionally positive and close and safe time to put closure on things. Sounds like he is a little defensive… probably underneath it, he’s just a little tired and scared that there will be blame or something like that. Perhaps put the emphasis on the “smooth” part, making the goal to connect and indulge in the happy weekend together. I hope it works out!

Post # 6
1835 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I’m really sorry that this happened. My Darling Husband used to have the exact same thing happen. We learned that if we didn’t bring up the past (resolved or unresolved) we were fine. Now, we resolve issues through better communication and there’s no need to bring them up later. It takes A LOT of time to perfect, you guys are jsut starting your journey together. There are lots of things my Darling Husband should have NEVER said to me, but there are also a lot of things I probably should have never said to him. We all have our moments we’re not proud of, and everyone knows that anger brings out the worst in people. Sometimes we say things we shouldn’t. **Hugs**

Post # 7
562 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

Aww I’m sorry! That’s really mean, I hope you guys work it out.

Post # 8
542 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

Awww, I’m sorry, girlie!!! HUGS!! I am sure you guys will get everything figured out. Hopefully he was just speaking out of anger and didn’t really mean it. Although I know from experience that when a guy is angry all the time and reacts like that (over such a trivial disagreement) that they have issues of their own they need to work on. Best of luck to you!!

Post # 9
1645 posts
Bumble bee

Aww. (((huge hug)))

I’m so sorry. That is a horrible, horrible thing for someone to say to their fiancee. You definitely need to have a discussion about this one, as I’m assuming you are right now. Here’s hoping that it was something that just came out, but there’s a huge possibility that it was some kind of revealing Freudian slip. 🙁

Post # 10
3981 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Wow! I am so sorry! I hope you guys can work this out!

Post # 11
923 posts
Busy bee

I’m so sorry you guys had that fight. I hope right now you’re working everything out. And if it doesn’t get resolved all the way right now, it can eventually.

I can’t imagine how that must have felt to have him say that to you. The pain and hurt that statement carry go far beyond today. We all feel for you. Let us know how it goes.

Post # 12
1636 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Wow, I don’t even know what to say about that.  that is wow…

did he propose to you?  if yes, then he obviously does want to marry you, however, this may be a conversation that may need to be had. 

((hugs)) that was just a really insensitive thing to say. 

the wording of it ‘This is why I don’t want to marry you”  has he been thinking about not wanting to marry you for a while and has kept his mouth shut?  Does he think that marriages are just all good all the time. 

i am flabberghasted, please keep us posted and know that we are here for you:(

Peace, Love, and blessings

Post # 13
968 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Oh no, I’m so sorry! 🙁 I hope you both can have a good talk about this and can work it out. 

Post # 14
19 posts
  • Wedding: October 2011

i have to be honest with you one time i said the exact same thing to my fi i said it for the same reason to break the silence and he reacted almost the same way when we spoke later he explained i had said i was leaving and its what he said to hurt me out of reaction because i hurt him saying i was leaving just because of a simple arguement and honestly later i thought what was i thinking saying i was leaving and how did i expect himto react

Post # 15
50 posts
Worker bee

It sounds like you both got carried away and said things you didn’t mean, out of hurt or anger. It is never a good idea to bring up past disagreements when you’re having a peaceful, happy time. Whenever possible, try to discuss issues when they come up. For example, the dog problem, when it’s time to take the dog out, and not in the middle of a happy weekend trip.

Post # 16
2192 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Oh that isn’t a nice thing for him to say at all…the heat of the moment can sometimes be the worst. Sending good vibes and Best wishes your way! ((HUGS))

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