He said we will be engaged the latest by mid-2018, should I start planning?

posted 3 years ago in Proposals
Post # 2
1909 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Pearson Convention Centre

I didn’t start planning until we were engaged 

Post # 3
305 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

View original reply
fairydust91 :  I would wait until you’re engaged. 

When you start, make the guest list first. You can create budget, theme, venue and everything off of how many people you want to be there. 

Post # 4
2882 posts
Sugar bee

No, I think to start planning before you actually get engaged is jumping the gun. I’d wait.

Post # 5
186 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

If you read these boards, a lot of women are promised proposals that never come to be. I’d wait until you actually have the ring.

Post # 6
3938 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

It depends on what you mean by planning. By all means make a Pinterest board, start figuring out color schemes and decor, get an idea of what style dress you like, and maybe even look into what venues are available to you for possible use. However, I wouldn’t jump the gun and start putting deposits down on anything. 

Post # 7
6338 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2009 - New York, NY

Wait until you are engaged 

Post # 8
2269 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

View original reply
fairydust91 :  I actually started planning long before we were officially engaged. Planning started in March 2016 (right after we finished designing my engagement ring together). Engaged June 2017. Married October 2017. It made things incredibly stress free because by the time the we announced our plans to marry (and everybody tried to insert their unwanted opinions), my ENTIRE wedding and honeymoon was already planned for.

So, I would say you can definitely start planning “in the background.” Gather ideas, set budget, start researching venues / vendors – just don’t announce to the world that you’re wedding planning. They may think you’re crazy since you’re not actually engaged yet. Lol 

Post # 9
1737 posts
Bumble bee

If you will be running on a quick time line and you’re not sure at all what you want by all means start looking and getting ideas. If your going to have a longer engagement don’t start yet. 

Post # 10
562 posts
Busy bee

I’d wait until you are engaged before commencing any true planning.

Post # 11
474 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

I echo everyone else – wait until you’re engaged before planning.  Although I definitely had some ideas for things – color for bridesmaid dresses, styles I liked for wedding dress, and bookmarked potential vendors’ sites – planning didn’t start until after he proposed.  It’ll be over a year and a half between the proposal and our wedding this June… I’m already getting tired of wedding planning!


Even if you have a shorter engagement, you will probably tire of wedding planning.  Pre-planning is not a wise idea.  Anyway, some aspects of the wedding – like what kind of ceremony you’re wanting, guest count, etc. – are best planned WITH your partner.  Does he want a small gathering too?  Does he want a shorter or longer engagement?  Have you talked about any of these things together?

Post # 12
86 posts
Worker bee

My Mom started planning because she knew we were getting engaged.  My husband proposed a few months earlier then I expecyed.  We never looked at rings, so it was a  total surprise.  Only thing my mom did was have us penciled in at the reception venue.  We had A pretty large wedding 300 plus, and this was one of a few venues she liked that could accommodate that many people.  We also only had an 11 month engagement.  personally Would wait until you are officially engaged.  

Post # 13
4505 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Wait. No point on planning until it is official. 

Post # 14
969 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

View original reply
fairydust91 :  I wouldn’t start palnning or buying anything until you are formally engaged. If it is going to be a small wedding, you will still be able to plan it with a short engagement.. 

Post # 15
3239 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

Daydream all you want but hold off on locking anything down until you’re officially engaged.

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