(Closed) He Says "CHILL", But I Can't.

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 2
63 posts
Worker bee

Well I have been with my SO for 4 years now… and a couple that the 2 of us hooked up shortly after we started dating are about to celebrate their 1 year wedding anniv. .. and a second couple that we hooked up i was just informed about his planned proposal! So I know how you feel.. I am over here (not so) patiently waiting!! I am getting super jealous and dont know how much longer I can take it.. I do know my SO is making payments on a ring so it calms my nerves a bit.. but still 2 couples that we hooked up are engaged/married before us..  But try to be patient I am sure he is trying to make sure everything is planned out and excecuted perfectly for you.. and im sure its worth waiting for πŸ™‚ … At least thats what I keep telling myself haha

Post # 3
6107 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

I do think you need to chill a bit. Yes, 2 years is a long time, but it’s not that long. These girls getting pregnant within a month of dating someone shouldn’t be making you jealous. If it were me, they’d be getting the side eye and I’d be thanking god that wasn’t me. The one couple is probably eloping solely because she’s pregant. You don’t want that. Like you said, you want him to propose because he wants to not because he feels he needs to. Your time will come and I’m sure it will be amazing and you’ll be so happy you’ll look back and probably think you were crazy for worrying too much lol.

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 7 months ago by  IzzyBear.
Post # 4
7882 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

You need to stop comparing yourself to others. And 2 years is really not that long to be together.

Post # 5
1059 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2014 - Loft

KaitlynBrooke: I’m here for support. Normally I don’t comment on these threads but I wanted to reach out to you personally because my waiting story was very similar, and what made it even more familiar is that your SO is saying things very similar to what my now Fiance said prior to us getting engaged. It will happen. I got to the point that I was consumed by a pending proposal and I ruined a lot of good days because I was expecting him to get down on one knee at any given moment. I know it is annoying when people say just be patient, but that is all the comfort I can offer. It sounds to me like you guys are on the right track though. Stay positive.

Post # 7
293 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015


KaitlynBrooke:  I was in the same situation as you back in February. I had to deal with all the December and February engagements and was upset. He told me to have patience and my time will come. Well he did have a plan for most of the time I bothered him – he was waiting for the right date and it was perfect. Just try to think about other things and keep your mind occupied πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

Post # 8
3089 posts
Sugar bee


The fact that he responded this way to you shows that marriage is at least on his mind. I know it’s hard but enjoy the day to day. It will come.:)

Okay, so my next question for you is, how is Georgia? Which part do you live? My SO is getting stationed in Georgia and we may have to move there. I was thinking either Peachtree City or Buckhead??? I hate the idea that I would have to drive everywhere. I am from the East Coast and everything is ‘closer’.

Post # 9
2878 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

KaitlynBrooke: I don’t blame you. Moving and uprooting your life is a huge commitment I wouldn’t have made without a ring. 

I also don’t do well when my guy says “how do you know I’m not (blank)” BECAUSE IT WASN’T COMMUNICATED TO ME is my response. 

Not mind reader, so all I can see is the present. If you aren’t proposing and aren’t engaged then you aren’t at the engaged commitment level. 

Open communication and transparency is a must in my relationships. I would have been a terrible waiting bee, so you have my feels. 

Post # 10
609 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2016


KaitlynBrooke:  This is probably not much help in terms of advice..just know that you’re not alone!!

Post # 11
3725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

KaitlynBrooke:  It would be my worst nightmare if I started dating someone and immediately got pregnant! I’d be devastated. Don’t be jealous.

Sounds like you have a good guy. It sounds like you have clearly identified your wants so now is the time to be patient. I waited 5 years for a proposal and I was ready at year 2. It was long but worth it.


Post # 12
1094 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Don’t let envy ruin your realtionship. Seems like he is waiting for the perfect time. When it happens it will, whats the rush? Don’t force something upon someone just because others are getting  married having babies etc. Seems like you are comparing yourself to others way too much. Focus on your realtionship and yours only.

Post # 13
9588 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

Bebe if you keep pushing it you will blow your own proposal. He’ll say “Fine! You want to get engaged, here’s your ring. You’re engaged now, happy?”

and then you’ll be on the bee crying about your proposal instead of enjoying your engagement. SHUT UP AND CHILL OP. he knows you desperately want it. So just STOP. Join the shut it up pact if you haven’t already. They helped me a lot. 

If you get past New Years, then it’s time to reassess but you need to LET IT GO AND GIVE HIM THE SPACE TO MAN UP. Or you will get a knee jerk proposal and spoil the whole thing for yourself. 

and stop comparing yourself to others- surely you know logically that their relationships/babies /shotgun weddings have ZERO to do with you. Zero. So give yourself some tough love and stop dwelling on it. 


Post # 14
5364 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2016

Man your friends are making Georgia sound like a wonderful, fertil place…not really sure why you’re jealous of them. I would much rather be dating for 2 years than have a 15 month old on our 2 year anniversary if we even make it that far. I would just chill and take comfort in his response!

Butterfly6:  those are both really expensive areas. If you’re used to walking everywhere I wouldn’t live in PTC. but hey, there you can just drive your damn gold cart everywhere….

Post # 15
510 posts
Busy bee

You have no reason to be jealous of rushed pregnancies and proposals. I’m attending three weddings this year — all of the couples have been together less time than my boyfriend and I (3 years). But breaking down in tears because of others’ life choices seems like a waste of energy. Do you want him proposing because you cried enough about it, or because it’s what he truly wanted to do and motivated himself to do it?

Jealousy is an ugly creature and can be very tough to fight in our lives. But you cannot compare yourself to others. For all you know, those couples are sitting there wishing they had the stability, longevity, and maturity they perceive you to have. 


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