Post # 1
Do you think it’s strange that FI still calls his former ILs “Mom and Dad.”
Here are the facts:
He has been divorced from their daughter for about 4 yrs.
He has a father and step-father but doesn’t have a close relationship with either of them.
He talks to the ex-ILs frequently because they help take care of his two sons when their mom is working and he is depolyed.
I just find it really odd that he still calls them Mom and Dad. I know the ex-ILs love him and were very disappointed when he and the ex got divorced.
I certainly don’t expect him to call my parents Mom and Dad now or after we marry.
It kind of creeps me out when I hear him call them Mom and Dad. It is weird or am I just super sensitive because I would never in a million years considered calling my ex-ILs Mom and Dad?
Post # 3
I think it’s weird, but since you described their relationship, I wouldn’t worry so much about it.
Post # 4
I don’t think it’s that weird. If Darling Husband and I got divorced and I had to still deal with my Mother-In-Law, I’d still call her “Ma”. It would be weird to call her by her first name because I never have, it’s just a name. It’s not hurting anyone, and it’s probably good for the kids to see.
Post # 5
I wouldnt be bothered by it.
Post # 6
It would seriously bother me, despite the situation.
Post # 7
Those are still his family, whether you or he like it or not. Those are the grandparents of his child. Just because a marriage ends does not mean you just stop being family. Family goes so far beyond marital or biological bonds.
If he has a good relationship with them, keep your nose out of it. He can call them what he likes, and if this is what he’s cool with, what’s the problem?
Post # 8
Seems a little weird but nothing to lose sleep over.
Post # 9
@Hyperventilate: I never said I didn’t like his former ILs, I think they are very nice people. I just think it’s kind of weird when I hear him call them mom and dad.
I never even came close to suggesting he end his bond with the ex ILs. Keep in mind, that I too am his family and have just as many if not more rights to those family bonds than the ex-ILs.
Telling me to “keep my nose out of it” is really rude.
Post # 10
@BeeBiscuit: I still think of my ex-FIs parents as mom and dad, partially because even before we were dating I called them that. I don’t see them much anymore, so it’s not a big deal and I don’t bring it up or push it around my husband (for his comfort, I don’t really think he’d mind though). I don’t call my husbands parents mom and dad, we are close-ish (and getting closer), but our relationship is a bit different.
It is a little strange, but I wouldn’t worry about it. Good luck!
Post # 11
If he didn’t have kids, it would be kind of odd. But they are his kids’ grandparents, and they have a good relationship…I think it’s awesome, not weird.
Post # 12
@BeeBiscuit: You can choose to be upset by it, bit I meant no offense. The situation doesn’t really involve you. If you want to be weirded out by it, that’s fine, but he’s clearly fine with the situation.
Post # 13
Given the situation, that they have helped with his kids while he was deployed, I do not find it strange.
I think you need to focus more on how you will accept his kids and their relationships. IME, onece someone has kids, they will not be free of connections with ex and ex’s family for a long tome.
Post # 14
Super creepy. I hate that whole calling your inlaws ‘mum and dad’ thing anyway. Should definitely be dropped after divorce.
Post # 15
If he’s got no sour grapes with his ex-ILs and they still treat each other like family I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it. It’s always sad when you break up with a SO and lose other wonderful people in the process, through no fault of their own.
Post # 16
i agree just cause a divorce happens doesn’t mean his former inlaws still aren’t family. those are still his kids grandparents and i think its good everyone is on good terms, and calling inlaws Mom and Dad must be something he’s comfortable with.
i think some people are comfortable with calling inlaws Mom/Dad, and others not. I have wonderful future inlaws but won’t be calling them Mom/Dad, and i wouldn’t expect my fiance to call my parents that either. I call his parents by their first names, and he does the same with my parents. Doesn’t mean i don’t love my mother in law, but the name Mom is sacred for me and reserved for my mother who raised me. It would just feel very strange calling another woman Mom.