(Closed) He still calls his ex-ILs Mom and Dad. Weird or Not?

posted 5 years ago in Family
  • poll: Is it weird to still call your ex In-Laws Mom and Dad??
    Yes- super weird and kinda creepy : (36 votes)
    41 %
    Nope - I wouldn't think twice about it : (10 votes)
    11 %
    Yes it's unusual but not a big deal : (39 votes)
    44 %
    Not odd at all, I have a great relationship with ex-ILs : (3 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    470 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    I think it’s weird, but since you described their relationship, I wouldn’t worry so much about it.

    Post # 4
    Member
    6015 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: March 2012

    I don’t think it’s that weird.  If Darling Husband and I got divorced and I had to still deal with my Mother-In-Law, I’d still call her “Ma”.  It would be weird to call her by her first name because I never have, it’s just a name.  It’s not hurting anyone, and it’s probably good for the kids to see.

    Post # 5
    Member
    7403 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    I wouldnt be bothered by it.

    Post # 6
    Member
    738 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    It would seriously bother me, despite the situation. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    9082 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    Those are still his family, whether you or he like it or not. Those are the grandparents of his child. Just because a marriage ends does not mean you just stop being family. Family goes so far beyond marital or biological bonds.

    If he has a good relationship with them, keep your nose out of it. He can call them what he likes, and if this is what he’s cool with, what’s the problem?

    Post # 8
    Member
    5405 posts
    Bee Keeper

    Seems a little weird but nothing to lose sleep over. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    1461 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    @BeeBiscuit:  I still think of my ex-FIs parents as mom and dad, partially because even before we were dating I called them that. I don’t see them much anymore, so it’s not a big deal and I don’t bring it up or push it around my husband (for his comfort, I don’t really think he’d mind though). I don’t call my husbands parents mom and dad, we are close-ish (and getting closer), but our relationship is a bit different. 

    It is a little strange, but I wouldn’t worry about it. Good luck!

    Post # 11
    Member
    2607 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2009

    If he didn’t have kids, it would be kind of odd. But they are his kids’ grandparents, and they have a good relationship…I think it’s awesome, not weird.

    Post # 12
    Member
    9082 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    @BeeBiscuit:  You can choose to be upset by it, bit I meant no offense. The situation doesn’t really involve you. If you want to be weirded out by it, that’s fine, but he’s clearly fine with the situation.

    Post # 13
    Member
    1609 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Given the situation, that they have helped with his kids while he was deployed, I do not find it strange.

    I think you need to focus more on how you will accept his kids and their relationships.   IME, onece someone has kids, they will not be free of connections with ex and ex’s family for a long tome.

    Post # 14
    Member
    924 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    Super creepy.  I hate that whole calling your inlaws ‘mum and dad’ thing anyway.  Should definitely be dropped after divorce.

     

    Post # 15
    Member
    5191 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2013

    If he’s got no sour grapes with his ex-ILs and they still treat each other like family I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it. It’s always sad when you break  up with a SO and lose other wonderful people in the process, through no fault of their own.

    Post # 16
    Member
    40 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: December 2013

     i agree just cause a divorce happens doesn’t mean his former inlaws still aren’t family. those are still his kids grandparents and i think its good everyone is on good terms, and calling inlaws Mom and Dad must be something he’s comfortable with.

    i think some people are comfortable with calling inlaws Mom/Dad, and others not. I have wonderful future inlaws but won’t be calling them Mom/Dad, and i wouldn’t expect my fiance to call my parents that either. I call his parents by their first names, and he does the same with my parents. Doesn’t mean i don’t love my mother in law, but the name Mom is sacred for me and reserved for my mother who raised me. It would just feel very strange calling another woman Mom.

     

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