- 2 years ago
- Wedding: November 2017
I’ll start by saying I’m 27 and unemployed. I met my fiance when we worked together last year, but he quit to take a job closer to home and because we were so crazy about each other, he asked me to move in with him. (Which meant I had to quit my job).
Here’s the thing… until I moved in with him, I’d lived with my parents my entire life. I didn’t cook, clean, do my own laundry… yeah I wasn’t helpful at all (and I’ve since apologized to my parents). But in my defense I had major depression and an anxiety disorder and was dang-near agoraphobic!
Now that I’m here, reality sunk in and I realized I want to be a better person for my fiance. Now I do both my laundry and his, I do dishes and keep the kitchen and our bedroom clean, I do everything for our two cats, I take the garbage out, I grocery shop, I take the kids to school and pick them up. (Yeah he has three kids, so I’ll be a step-Mom…. we all love each other tons!!)
But… if he comes home from work and I haven’t made dinner he seems to get really frustrated. He also complains if I don’t get laundry done on a regular basis. I do laundry once a week to save water and get full loads, and I plan and make dinner maybe 3 nights a week. I know it needs to be more but I’m STILL getting in the swing of making these things habit. I used to barely make MYSELF dinner, let alone plan meals, shop for food, and cook for a family!! It kills me because when I tell my parents what I can do now, they’re so proud of my progress… but because my fiance never saw my TRULY lazy days, he seems to think THIS is what laziness is for me.
It hurts even WORSE because when I moved in he was SO happy about any little thing I did and he told me I didn’t have to do anything!! He even said he didn’t want me to work!! Also, when we met, he told me he was training his kids to be self-sufficient in case something ever happened, so naturally I assumed he wouldn’t get mad at me for not making them constant meals when the house if FULL of food they could make. (Easy stuff, too!)
In a sense, he’s right. I don’t do as much as an unemployed woman COULD do… but I just wish he’d be more patient with me. He doesn’t seem to think about the progress I’ve made since having my Mother do my laundry ONLY A YEAR AGO!!!! I’m not about to become Super Woman in a year, considering he didn’t want me to do ANYTHING until about 5 months ago.
Just tell me what you think… give me confidence please… he’s a great father and fiance almost ALWAYS, and I’m not about to leave him because of what I’M not doing.
Is there a way to get in the swing of being a homemaker/housewife?? I truly want to get this right for him!! This might sound nuts but his comments have driven me to become a better person. He’s everything I’ve ever wanted and I love him. I’ll be June Cleaver if I need to!!