(Closed) He thinks this exchange seems fair…why can’t he just stop making me feel dumb?

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 4
4137 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

the bee keeps eating my posts!

have your fi talk to them NOW. this behavior is unacceptable and needs to stop.

Post # 5
1391 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Start using dumb instead of stupid 🙂

Post # 7
6351 posts
Bee Keeper

Not OK and I think you know that.

Post # 8
1313 posts
Bumble bee

@SweetRose2011: BAH. I probably would have either cried or slapped him if someone said that to me (depending on my mood, lol). I am so over-sensitive and absolutely cannot take a joke at all.

I am so, so sorry you’re having to deal with this! NOT fair.. you are being punished and made fun of for stating your opinion? That’s crap.

If it continues, you definitely need to have a serious conversation about it. If you think it’s a one time thing and won’t happen again in the future really, I’d just try & brush it off.

Post # 9
1927 posts
Buzzing bee

From your post it seems like you live with your in laws?  If that’s the case I really think you should try to change that.  It’s hard enough sharing space with your spouse.  Living with your in laws is going to cause unneeded tension like this because you have to be around each other constantly.

Post # 10
7173 posts
Busy Beekeeper

That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard of.  What the heck!  Do they tease each other like that too?  Is it their way of ‘good fun’.

Even if it is – it doesn’t make it right.  ESPECIALLY when you asked them to stop.

I think I would go back to him, and say:  I thought about what you said in the car.  Your teasing remarks are very upsetting and I’d appreciate you stop, without any stipulations.  If you find that I’m complaining too much, I’d appreciate you pull me aside in confidence and point it out to me.  

What does your Fiance think of all of this?

Post # 11
1876 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Ew. I’m trying to grasp what your Fiance makes fun of you for – is it because you complain a lot? And I’m guessing he is tired of it? I don’t think that means he can make fun of you though. If I were you I’d distance myself and just say that you really don’t like him when he acts like that and it makes u not want to be around him.

Post # 12
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

It seems like he’s being pretty immature. Obviously some of the things you say bother him, but rather than telling you that they bother him he thinks he can “correct” what he considers to be undesirable behavior by teasing you. I think it is probably his way of “hinting” that you should stop doing whatever it is that you do to annoy him. Regardless, it was pretty mean of him to say that to you in front of other people. 

What are the odds that you and your Fiance could move out of his house? I think that being around someone who you clash with all the time is probably very stressful 🙁 

Post # 13
1876 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Woops – I just realized this was Future Father-In-Law doing the teasing not Fiance. Your Fiance needs to stand up for you.

Post # 14
544 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Agreeing to stop verbally abusing someone in exchange for something else is NOT the right way to do things. If he wanted a positive change from you, he should have sat down and said, “I feel that you would be happier if…” and made it a productive conversation. Now he’s simply holding you hostage – i.e., the abuse continues unless he gets what he wants. THAT IS NOT OK.

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