Post # 1
So, my guy just told me that he is going to ask my dad for my hand this weekend. He also showed me a picture of the ring that he “may or may not” have already purchased. Total bummer as I was counting on the surprise!
How many of your guys have given you an unwanted heads up and how did you handle it? Any advice on how to get that element of surprise back at this point?
Post # 3
My hubs wanted me to pick the ring so I did! I almost lost my mind waiting for him to propose.
Like seriously, I went all Kate Hudson in Bride Wars on his ass.
He didn’t ask my dad for my hand, but they already had a good relationship.
A friend of mine recently had her bf ask her dad though! That was nice. Though he is saying to everyone he wants to wait til the end of the year. But he is ring shopping.
Post # 4
My fiance showed me a picture of a ring on his cell phone and asked me “Do you like this?” I asked “Why” and he said “I think its about time don’t you?”
BUT I did make him ask my dad because I’m old fashion and I knew my dad would LOVE that and I did have him get on one knee just not as a “ooh you have to” but a “it would be nice if you did” so he did in the hospital after I had surgery
Post # 5
My FH dropped hints about a surprise on new years eve. so i kinda thought it would be. but then at dinner he gave me a promise ring and said he promises he will love me forever. so i thought that was it then when it hit midnight and the fireworks started he got on one knee 🙂
Post # 6
My heads up wasn’t unwanted. We actually went and bought the ring together. Then I sat in the room when he put my mom on speaker to ask her “permission” for us to get married. She still doesn’t know that I knew about the proposal first. It’s our little secret and I love it.
Don’t let it bum you out that he told you! How he acutally proposes will be a surprise and that might have been a ring to throw you way off. Even if he asks your dad for permission this weekend that doesn’t mean he’ll be popping the question within the week. I’ve seen some bees post about how they had to wait an extra month or more.
Post # 7
Fiance didn’t tell me, but my dad did! My dad totally misunderstood and thought he had already asked me. My dad felt soooooooooooooooo bad when I told him that Fiance hadn’t told me he was going to ask!
Post # 8
My proposal was a surprise, but the rest of it was not. That’s just how I wanted it too! We went ring shopping together, and I went back with him when he made the down payment. I knew it would be coming since I knew roughly how long it would take him to pay it off. I had a feeling it would come soon, then he proposed that night. It was perfect 🙂
Post # 9
My proposal wasn’t a surprise. Well, the timing wasn’t a surprise, but how he did it was!
He knew that I would have been really angry if he asked my parents for my hand so that specific thing didn’t come up.
Post # 10
I thought I wanted to be surprised, but that isn’t DH’s style. He’s far to practical to do that. However, he didn’t announce that he was going to do it. We both knew it was going to happen. It was the direction we both knew we wanted to go. So it wouldn’t have been a surprise anyway, and it wouldn’t have made sense for him to announce it. Of course, we’re both in our 40’s, so asking my dad would have been completely rediculous!
I think it’s sweet and romantic that he told you he’s going to ask for your hand. No one ever asked my dad for my hand, so I’m kind of jealous. Try not to be disappointed, there will be a lifetime of things that he’ll do that will surprise you.
Post # 11
i actually was there when he bought the ring (we didn’t plan it that way, that’s just kind of how it happened). we had talked about him asking for my parents’ “permission” before he proposed, but it really didn’t matter to me if he did that or not. everyone knew we were going to get married (and my mom knew that we already had the ring).
i asked him once if he had talked to my parents and he said no. then like, a week later he popped the question. after i said yes, i asked him if he had lied when he said he hadn’t talked to my parents and he said no. i didn’t want my parents to be disappointed because i knew they’d appreciate the gesture (i’m their only daughter), so we kind of asked for their blessing together.
even tho i knew it was coming, i was still surprised when he asked, so don’t be too disappointed. it’ll still be special whether you knew about it all along or are completely caught off guard. i always wanted to be surprised, but when he was down one knee i wasn’t thinking, “i knew it…” i was like, “hell, yeah!” 🙂
Post # 12
Well, since my Darling Husband and I were on eHarmony specifically looking for the person God had for each of us to marry, we both knew that marriage would be the intended goal of any relationship that we decided to pursue. Darling Husband told me on our second in-person date that, if he asked me to marry him, he was going to ask my father first, so I knew that would happen at some point if our relationship continued to move forward. I just had no idea when he would end up doing that.
DH was insistent very early on that I was “the one,” but he knew I needed more time, and I told him I would need to give him the “go ahead” before he was allowed to actually buy me a ring. We even went ring shopping together very early in our relationship so that he would know exactly what I wanted, but he could not proceed until I was ready for him to ask me.
Once I was sure that I was comfortable with him moving forward, I began to get very excited for the proposal, but I still wanted everything else — the when, the where and the how of the proposal — to be a total surprise. So, even after I told him I was OK with him moving forward, I still ended up having to wait about six weeks for him to actually purchase the ring and propose to me. We only saw each other about two to three times per month, since we were long distance, so, at that point I was expecting it pretty much any time I saw him. However, he still managed to devise a very creative plan to surprise me, and my proposal was still amazing, special, and wonderful!! 🙂
Post # 13
@Loribeth: Well, my Darling Husband and I were in our mid 40s also, and I hadn’t lived in the same state as my parents for 25 years, but DH still asked my dad. I loved that he did that. 🙂
Post # 14
- Wedding: June 2014 - Ontario, Canada ♥ EDD- April 2016
Mine wanted to surprise me but was so scared to ask my parents he needed my support before he talked to them, which I thought was sweet (:
Post # 15
@sugarpea: my fiance was nervous too! he didn’t want to talk to them alone, so that’s why we did it together. and then I started getting nervous, lol. i don’t know why. my parents love him, so it should have been no problem, lol.
Post # 16
I would have preferred to have more say than I did, but it was no big deal. Some girls like the surprise, but I honestly don’t like surprises.