(Closed) He wants a lot of groomsmen but I only want a couple bridesmaids

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
612 posts
Busy bee

Well, if you’re absolutely not willing to forgo having an equal number of men on one side and women on the other, then your only options are to a) cut back on the groomsmen or b) add some bridesmaids. If you can, swing option a) by asking some of the men to be ushers or an emcee instead. If you go with option b) then just remember that you don’t HAVE to have your bridesmaids involved in all the planning and prep work. If you like your Future Sister-In-Law then you should ask her, and let her know that you don’t expect her to do anything other than be there to support you on the day-of. And I have several friends from highschool that I don’t see regularly anymore but I’d still be thrilled if they called me up and asked me to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man in their wedding, so I say go for it if you want them up there with you.

Post # 4
6892 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

Since you seem pretty adamant that the sides be even, I just wanted to say this: Be careful who you ask. It doesn’t always make it better to have even sides if you end up with drama because you ended up asking people you aren’t super close to. That being said, we’re having uneven sides because I didn’t have as many people I wanted on my side.

Post # 5
7311 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

I whole-heartedly agree with AmeliaBedelia./ Do not add females to your side just to be even. It’s a recipe for hurt feelings, drama, unnecassary stress, etc. The people standing up next to you should be the ones you feel closest to, who will be there to celebrate your wins and console your losses in marriage and in life. Your wedding is not about appearances and symmetry; it’s about joining your lives together and making that transition with your closest loved ones beside you for now and for the future.

Post # 6
26 posts
  • Wedding: October 2011

I went to a wedding where the Groom had 10 guys and the Bride only had 5 girls…each Bridesmaid or Best Man got two GMs to escort her in church and at the reception.  The only thing was, they did not do a traditional bridal party dance – they danced together as a group to a more upbeat song which I thought was odd but whatever floats your boat – its both your and your FI’s big day, try to save your battles for things that are the most important to you and compromise whenever possible.  If the mismatch is really bothering you, you could suggest a smaller wedding party but have his extra guys be ushers at the church/venue or readers/etc so that they can participate in your day.

Post # 7
4887 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@AmeliaBedelia:  Same.  I have 4, he has 5… and one of mine is his sister, whom I’m buds with but not that close to.  I’m happy to have her, but if you’re not as close with your FI’s sister, just have your two and let him still have 4.  It won’t be that bad.

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