(Closed) He wants his dad to be his best man??? What do I do?

posted 6 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 3
Member
485 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

This isn’t unheard of… to have the dad as the best man.

I don’t know the rest of the situation with your families…. but this is not a battle I would pick.

 

Tux fitting:  Are you going with a major retailer?  He can to ANY men’s warehouse and get fitted…. I believe they can even have HIS tux shipped to HIS location, even though your order them as a group.

If having his mom at the head table bothers you…. then change that plan and do a table with the attendants dates…. to me a head table with 14 people is already too big.  A head table with 28 seems like a nightmare.

 

I think you CAN solve these problems, if you want to. 

Post # 4
Member
1066 posts
Bumble bee

I would explain how I felt, and that it would hurt people, and hope he listens. But if he really wants his Dad in the party, what can you do? Except fume…lol

Post # 5
Member
2253 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@avonleaR:  I think your SO has the right to pick his Best Man even if it is his father. Even though you may worry about delays with the suit, all the groomsmen that served in Darling Husband and I’s wedding were out of state, and the suits were ordered just fine. If you’re worried about your Future Mother-In-Law and mother’s reactions, just let them know ahead of time. They’ll have more than enough time to realize it’s your SO’s decision.

Post # 7
Member
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Pick another battle

Post # 8
Member
883 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

If he wants his father as his Bridesmaid or Best Man that is HIS choice, and a rather wonderful one. I cannot think of why anyone would have issue with him wanting to bestow this honor to his own father.

The opposite was true at my wedding; my husband chose his son, and I could not think of anyone more worthy of such an honor….

And if the adults involved (due to divorce) cannot put aside their differences for one day and act like adults, then that’s their problem.

Post # 9
Member
556 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

My husband’s father was his best man. I don’t understand what the problem is. He should be able to pick whoever he wants.

Post # 10
Member
7647 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@dkacerek:  +1, especially And if the adults involved (due to divorce) cannot put aside their differences for one day and act like adults, then that’s their problem.

Post # 11
Member
399 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I agree with PP that your So does have the right to choose anyone he wants to be the best man.  And really 3 hours away won’t make it that difficult to get the suit.

But just a thought.  Why doesn’t your SO feel that he needs a 6th.  Why don’t you both cut one out and only have 5 on each side?

Post # 12
Member
658 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

It is a sweet gesture . Pick another battle.

Post # 13
Member
553 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@avonleaR:  My fiance is using his father as his best man so he doesn’t have to choose between his other groomsmen. We aren’t doing a head table so I don’t really have the same dilemma as you, but if I were in your situation I think I’d just have the wedding party minus the dad and his wife at the table. He’d probably be content sitting at another table with other family..especially since he’s a man and doesn’t care that much and also because you mentioned he’s laid back. He can still stand up and do his toast from wherever he’s sitting. And honestly, who cares if your head table has more couples on one side than the other?

If this is not a consideration for you, and it is important for the wedding party to all sit together including dad/ new wife, then other people’s situations or feelings about that are their issues, not yours…don’t let them make it your problem due to their own discomforts.

Post # 14
Member
658 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

It is a sweet gesture . Pick another battle.

Post # 15
Member
2553 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Let him.

Post # 16
Member
11747 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@avonleaR:  it’s not your choice, he can have whomever he wants be the best man.

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