(Closed) He wants me to change my last name but not my middle name.

posted 6 years ago in Names
Post # 31
Member
96 posts
Worker bee

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sakura11:  I was not here for your original posting but just wanted to say Congratulations!! both on the weddding and on such a great resolution to this issue. I think it speaks volumes about your relationship and your future together that things ended so well without negativity.

Post # 32
Member
7322 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

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sakura11:  Glad you found resolution! 

I’m from the south, and down here it’s tradition for a women to drop her middle name and become First Maiden Married. My DH grew up in the North and couldn’t understand the whole “drop your middle name concept”. He always assumed I’d be First Middle Married because that’s how it’s done where he grew up. At the end of the day, it’s my name, so he didn’t really get a say.

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 2 months ago by  .
Post # 33
Member
182 posts
Blushing bee

I see. My Fiance family members went thorugh similar things. PDHs etc. So they changed the name legally so it is MRS. XX and for work used the old name as “stage name” No issues with papers or online publications, and it worked out well.

Post # 34
Member
4316 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I completely understand ur hesitation and I think ur compromise is perfect! In fact that’s what I’m going to do. I’m adding my maiden last name to be part of my middle name, so in essence I will have two middle names and take my FIs last name legally.. Just so u know, u don’t necessarily have to change ur last name professionally if that’s what u choose not to do, I’m a teacher and I know plenty of women who changed their last name legally but kept their maiden name professionally, just a thought! Good luck to u! …I think ur Fiance needs to give this up and let u maintain ur identity somehow!

Post # 35
Member
4316 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

OMG so sorry I didn’t read ur update! Congratulations! I’m happy to hear that he agreed and realized he Was being unreasonable! 

Post # 36
Member
59 posts
Worker bee

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Ryansgirl:  Obviously I am not the OP, but as someone of Japanese heritage (not that it is apparent from either my first or last name), I can see why this is important to the OP.  

The topic ‘He wants me to change my last name but not my middle name.’ is closed to new replies.

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