- 2 years ago
- Wedding: May 2019
So here’s my thing.
I only want three bridesmaids. My older cousin who is like a sister to me, his younger sister, and my high school best friend. I may add one friend we’ve had since middle school or one bridesman. So all in all, that’s like 5 at most.
My fiancee is a super friendly guy, and my opposite when it comes to keeping friends. I knew he’d want more groomsmen than I have bridesmaid, and that’s fine with me… if it wasn’t SO uneven. He wants to invite back every bro he’s ever had. I know my brother and his brother are shoe-ins, but he wants to invite every friend he’s ever considered close over the years. And that’s a lot.
We were high school sweethearts that went to the same college. So we have or at least tolerate many of the same friends.
He wants all of his friends from middle/high school (9 in total, some of whom live in other states or are total a**holes he knows I don’t like/treat him badly but he overlooks it,) the friends he made in high school (5 in total, 3 of which are Mormon guys who live in Utah, have young children and families who they would bring (our wedding is infant/toddler free) and we haven’t talked to consistently in years,) and the friends he made in college (5 in total, most of whom he’s still close to.)
My max for an uneven party is him having 7-9, which I feel is reasonable. But he wants 19 groomsmen. 19. I don’t even know if they’re going to all fit on the side of the venue we chose. I feel like I’m not crazy for wanting his party to be smaller right? Does he want too many?
If you agree with me, before you attack him, he’s only been to two weddings in his whole life, one of which he attended as a young child. I’ve been trying to teach him exactly how they work and what you have to do for them to all come together. I’ve tried to see if I could get the number down but he won’t budge, and almost gets hurt when I suggest we lower the size of the wedding party. He says his boys got him where he is today, and they all need to stand up there with him, no matter how many times I suggest that not every person he’s ever loved can stand up there with him.
I’ve told him we can compromise somehow. We’ll give them their own table. He can get a picture of him with all his guys with the photographer. But that’s just not enough.
It’s the only thing we’ve disagreed on thus far, and I’d really like it resolved before we make the final decision on the wedding party. Am I crazy for wanting a smaller wedding party? Is 19 an outrageous number? What can I do to get him to listen to me? Does anyone have any stories similar to this? SOS.